Sometimes success comes just when you least expect it.

Mr. Montreal Madison:

We’re out on a Monday night and pass through a park. I look at a lady walking some kind of animal. It looks like an ugly dog, but it’s not … it’s a pig. An awesome pig. I convince the guys to stop. I want to investigate. I talk to the lady about her pig. I pet it; the pig is aggressive and tries to eat my shoes with its muscular jaws. I find out all about the pig, and how she takes care of it. I decide to take some pictures with the pig because it’s awesome and I have to share the love. For the rest of the night I am running around telling ladies about this cool pig. Positive mental loops deluxe. By the way, who walks a pig at like 1 am ?

We head to a club and start dancing. It’s bare. I notice the tall hot brunette bartender smile at our dancing out of the corner of my eye. I tell the boys to keep dancing. A few seconds later I open her. We chat and I feel it’s on, so I back turn and kino her hand. She keeps it there. Standard bartender game continues. I turn to the guys and say I am going to number close her. A little while later we buy drinks.

My wing never drinks, so he’s kinda buzzed after half a drink. I chat with the bartender … I tell her I came to talk to her because she likes my dancing. I ask if she has a boyfriend. She says “… um … well … it’s kinda …” I cut her off and say, “You hesitated, that’s good enough.” I tell her we should hang out and go see the movie “Inception.” (It makes sense because we were talking about how she is a film student.) I tell her that Inception is the “feel good movie of the year.” I say she should give me her number. She agrees and disappears and does not write down her number.

(Note to newbies: This is classic bartender game. All guys ask for her number. She wants to see how you react when she pulls away all IOIs. Do you keep your cool and have fun, or do you chase her. Never chase a bartender.)

Some time goes by and I see her walk to the corner of the bar. I walk over, tell her, “Hi honey,” and smile. We chat, and she writes down her number without me asking again. I go back to the boys and party for like 10 more minutes before we leave and I say bye.

We head up the street. I see 2 girls with black hair … I put my arms around them and chat. They say they’re lesbians. I say it’s ok because I’m gay. I take out my cell phone and show them pictures of the pig. They love the pig. It’s on. 3 minutes later we’re at the front door of the club and I am making out with the shorter of the two. She’s not all that. Like a 6. Everybody is standing around in a circle talking. We all go inside the bar / club. It’s sick. All the girls look like they came from an American Apparel ad. “Sexy hipsters” … Jeffy would love it. I am creaming in my pants. The 2 girls go sit on a bench in the club and basically grill me the whole time.

I chat up some hot girls that I have seen before. I go outside when they smoke. One girl has an awesome sweater. It looks like a varsity style cardigan. I tell her I love her sweater. I show her mine. I look like a school professor. I have patches on mine. I say we look cute together, and then I show her the pig pictures on my cell phone. I get her number. She says that she and her friend will be back. Just then my brother comes and tells me, “Good job, the other girls got jealous and you made them leave !”

I am like – shit.

I run out of the club and chase them down the street. “What, you guys didn’t even say goodbye ? I’m sad.” My girl starts getting upset. I can tell she has low self esteem. I walk with them and my girl is happy again. More making out. She’s grabbing my ass and putting her hands in my shirt, talking about how she wants to take me home. I bring her to a new club and chat her up there. We talk logistics. She says her friend is staying with her, and I tell her that her friend can sleep on the couch.

For the next 30 minutes I am running back and forth between the black haired low self esteem girls, and the club where my brother and friends are. I tell them “I am here for glory !” I want to upgrade. I have not pulled from a club in awhile, and I recognize that this is a good opportunity because the logistics are good, and the girl is down to fuck. But a part of me feels like I can do better. I’m looking at all these stunning women and my mind won’t settle. I could lose it all if I spread myself too thin running back and forth between the 2 clubs … it’s risky. I could end up with nothing. The other girl is calling me. I go back and dance with her and run off to the other club again.

All the girls at the other club are cool, but nothing solid. My brother and friends want to leave. We all go to the door. Its like 2:30 am … there is nothing left for us here … then I see her.

I saw her before, dancing on a couch like a rock star. A hot short haired brunette, wearing a black dress and a cool hoody. From now on, we will call her HBPussycat.

She is walking down the stairs …

I tell her I have been looking for her all night and that she has been ignoring my smiles.

She says she is sorry, she didn’t notice.

I ask who are you ? She tells me.

I am holding both her hands, looking into her eyes … she is not letting go. She tells me she is not looking for anything – WTF ?

Just then my brother comes down the stairs and is yelling and blabbering loudly at us. He tries to talk to the girl. I tell him to please keep moving. He will shift the focus and blow it.

I go back to her, get close, hold her hands and talk.

She says she is leaving. Then she says one more dance.

I tell her my friends are leaving. She says one more dance.

At this moment I realize I will have no ride home, I will loose the black haired girl at the other club, and this could all go to shit. But my gut tells me to go with HBPussycat. Something in the way she looks back at me, and holds my hands, and says we should dance. Yup, it’s on … solid. I ask her if she’s into girls. She is like, “Well …” I laugh and say, “I know … it’s your vibe.”

We go upstairs and start dancing. We are spinning and dancing close, and talking.

We clearly have chosen each other. There is just a click and flow. We are chode dancing hand in hand, but because of the vibe, it’s still sexually charged.

She asks if I want to talk at her place. I say “Yeah” … like duh. She says, “We are only talking, no sex.” I am like, “Yeah, sex is disgusting, it’s nasty and wet, etc.” We decide we want to cuddle and talk … really.

We walk out of the club. It’s a 5 minute pull.

We walk down the street hand in hand.

We talk about our what just happened, and how we are on the same wave length.

We stop and get $2 chow mein.

She says she lives close. We walk and she is calling me “babe” and feeding me Chinese food. We are splitting up the egg rolls like we’re together.

We talk about how people should say whats on their minds, and how life is too short.

We talk about our lives.

She tells me she doesn’t want to have sex. I tell her I have fucked girls in 1 day and dated them for more than a year … the speed is irrelevant, and the vibe is everything.

Her street is empty, no cars.

I ask, “Have you ever danced in the middle of the street before?” – and grab her. I spin her and start dancing. I tell her it’s like a movie. We laugh.

We hold hands in the middle of the street and walk to her house.

Inside I find out we are both super into fashion. We have the same bed. We have the same music. Etc. Cool.

We talk about growing up and share stories.

She says she wants me, but doesn’t want to have sloppy sex. She did that 3 weeks ago with a random dude. I respect her honesty, and decide not to fuck her.

We make plans to go to dinner. She says she really likes me and wants to get to know me.

A friend calls on my cell while she is giving me a strip tease. I hang up, and give her a lap dance.

We get undressed and start kissing. And rolling around and talking and kissing more. (Note: Up until now she has rejected my 3 attempts to kiss her. In some weird way I almost believe it’s sometimes better to not kiss. It makes her feel that you are more high value if you don’t try to kiss her, as long as all your other subcommunication is tight. If you are already sex-worthy it’s ok to not kiss a girl, because she can tell in other ways that you’re sex-worthy. Kissing her sometimes shows you’re in it for one thing, and puts you in a bad place with every other guy. Sometimes.)

Anyways … we turn each other on too much …

And spend the next 2 hours having passionate sex and getting her roommates so mad they bang on the walls.

Hope to see her again soon. I want to date her for awhile.

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