Most of what we talk about around here revolves around the concept of creating wild success with high quality women.

But here’s a twist for you.  Have you ever stopped to consider that we may sometimes manufacture failure from the building blocks of apparent success?

Well, I sure have.  In doing so I’ve come to the harsh realization that we as men do exactly that ALL THE TIME.  Here are six prime examples of when we end up LOSING with women when SUCCESS was well within reach:

1)    SEEKING APPROVAL WHEN SHE’S ALREADY GIVING IT TO YOU

The equivalent principle in the sales world to this one would be, “once you make the sale, shut up”.

Gentlemen, once you have a clear indication that she’s already impressed, it’s more than ever before time to STOP trying to impress her.

If she’s giggling at your most tepid jokes, telling you how wonderful you are, showing surreal interest in your boring stories, turning up for the second date and the like, she already likes you.

Really, I promise.

For the love of all that is good in the universe, move forward.  Start talking about her.  Let her impress YOU for a while.

Otherwise, you risk looking like a needy guy with low self-esteem.

2)    GETTING PUSHY WHEN SHE’S ALREADY BEING PULLED IN 

Is she turning into a flirty, feline little vixen right before your very eyes?  Is she getting all “touchy feelie” , pawing your chest and playing with your hair?

That’s all GREAT news.

Now, how about letting things FLOW naturally from there?  Not that there’s ever a RIGHT time to be pushy and impatient, but that’s a particularly BAD time to start “escalating” her just to get to the main event.

Not only will she appreciate letting the proverbial Bunsen burner in the chemistry lab simmer as long as it needs to, so will you when you find out how perfect the end result is.

Meanwhile, if you blow it here and creep her out you’re likely NEVER to make up for the loss.  She’ll be outta there with a quickness.

3)    ASSUMING HER ATTRACTION SIGNALS ARE JUST A GAME

It still never ceases to amaze me how a cutie can smile, flirt, ask what a guy is doing later and then practically throw herself at him…only to have the guy rationalize the whole scenario as some sort of ruse or ploy on her part.

How about this?  Try treating those situations at FACE VALUE next time, and just see how that turns out.  Believe in your very real ability to attract a woman you actually find attractive in return just once or twice.

That’s all I ask.  See for yourself instead of inventing a bunch of “if/then” detours in your mind.  My bet is that it’ll end well.

I can solemnly promise you that almost NOTHING confuses a woman more and generates more self-consciousness in her than the blunder I’ve brought up here…except, well, maybe THIS…

4)    STAGE TWO “FEAR OF REJECTION”

This one is particularly painful in my mind because it’s altogether TOO common.

Guys…if you’ve managed to approach her, start a conversation and keep her engaged then you’ve GOT to make sure not to “bonk” at the finish line.

Go ahead and GET HER NUMBER.  Really, it’ll be okay.

You would think that if a woman actually chooses to keep standing there talking to you when she was doing something else beforehand that it would only follow logically that she’d like to CONTINUE talking to you some more later.

But some guys don’t seem to get that.  Even after having overcome “fear of rejection” at the beginning, the mere thought of her refusing to give her the digits is just too much to stomach.

The tragic part is that she probably would have given them to you.

And worse, she’s probably genuinely disappointed that you never asked.  Ironically, SHE’S the one who feels “rejected” at that point.

5)    REVERTING TO “MR. NICE GUY”

This weird reaction to perhaps unexpected success with a particularly desirable woman tends to happen when a sudden fear of loss kicks in at some point.

You somehow believe that being a straight-talking “chooser” who speaks his mind even when contrary to her opinions can’t POSSIBLY continue to work for you in the long run.

It must have been pure luck thus far that she’s still around.  So by all means, the thinking goes, it’s time to be super “nice” and give her whatever she wants.  Otherwise, it’s only “logical” that she’ll run away.

Nonsense.  Screw common “logic”.  Keep doing what was attractive to begin with.  Always.

6)    MAKING A BIGGER DEAL OUT OF “GETTING PHYSICAL” THAN SHE IS

It’s not an original thought of mine, but I really suspect that it’s very true:  Men talk themselves out of the bedroom WAY more often than women do.

No kidding.  I’m convinced that men are responsible for more than their fair share of “last minute resistance”.

Who knows?  Maybe we tend to fear performance issues once it finally comes to “crunch time”.  Maybe we fear STDs and pregnancy even more than women do.  Maybe we just forgot the condoms.

But wow…do we ever give women plenty of excuses NOT to get naked with us, even when they’re really hot for us.

“Hey, I just want to be a gentleman.  Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Guys, if she’s NOT, she’ll be the first to tell you…and it’ll be a direct statement.  If she presents uncertainty in the form of a question, oftentimes she’s looking for you to take the “blame” for being so naughty.  She needs for it to be all YOUR fault, you mad seducer, you.

So then, the proper answer to, “Should we be doing this?” is, “Yes…absolutely.”  Watch in awe when you see her reaction to your reassurance.

So how about it?  Can you look imminent success with women in the eye and ACCEPT it?

Confidence is the key, gentlemen.  When a woman shows interest in you—at whatever stage of your interaction with her—why not man up and move forward?

Can you not trust that the end result will in fact be EXACTLY as it appears it’s going to turn out…even if that’s AMAZINGLY fortunate for you?

Give ye olde “Too Good To Be True” factor the heave-ho, and give these women the gift of what they want and deserve:  YOU.   Anything else will only point to mutual frustration.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 


Scot McKay
Scot McKay

Scot McKay burst onto the dating and seduction advice scene back in 2005 and quickly set himself apart with a unique approach he calls ‘character-based’. He has since become well-known on a global scale as one of the most effective dating coaches on the planet.

He has been invited to speak at high profile conferences such as iDate and 140 Conference, and has been featured on NBC, Fox, Men’s Health and over 300 other media outlets.

Importantly, while now a recognized presence in what’s commonly known as The Seduction Community, Scot does not train men to be “pickup artists”.

Rather, through a combination of deserving what you want and decoding the opposite sex’s thought process, Scot talks about how a masculine, confident man of true character and leadership skill is an authentic representation of the man the most desirable women want, obviating the need for ‘tricks’ and ‘techniques’.

His next-generation concepts transcend mere pickup and seduction and describe a state of having 100% control over one’s dating life, culminating in the ability to attract the highest quality women on Earth, effectively manage relationships and make wise decisions from a position of strength.

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