The Kiss Close
Being a story-teller
Preparation and format
Quality vs. quantity
Lego: Hey Mystery, what’s your favorite story to close with? How exactly do you transition from the telling of a story to closing?
Mystery: “The Kiss Close” is my favorite routine. Once you have three indicators of interest (she touches you, laughs consistently at your jokes, leans in towards you, smiles a lot and keeps eye contact, resumes chat when you force silence, etc) you then phase shift. You turn 180 degrees on a dime. Go from humorous and non-sexual to saying, “Stop. Would you like to kiss me?”, right out of the blue. She will say either say, “Uh – no”,(which is unlikely as you don’t bother performing “The Kiss Close” until enough indicators are present) or, “I donno” (they rarely say, “Yes”). “I donno” means she actually does want to but feels embarrassed on how to say “Yes”. So you reply, “Lets find out”, then go in slowly and kiss her. It’s very simple and very effective. If she says, “Why?”, this is also a yes. Simply reply, “It looked like you had something on your mind. Would you like to kiss me?” Wait again for her response. If her response is “No” then reply, “Hey I didn’t say you could. You just had that look in your eye.”
Lego: What do you do if you’re interrupted? You’re telling your target a story and she is all into it but some AFC cock-blocking idiot just runs up and starts screaming and yelling and you’re like, “What the fuck?”
Mystery: Simply ask him if you can borrow his pen. When he gives it to you, throw it away as you say, “Fetch.”
Wakeboarder: Hahaha. Nice!
Lego: What if he’s bigger than you?
Mystery: I’d instead call him on his disruptive shit and remark, “Dude, what are you attempting here?” Not good enough? Then say, “Ladies? Shall we discover what adventure awaits us in another room?”
Wakeboarder: Man, none of my buds want to go to the club.
Gamer: Screw them then.
Mystery: Go alone.
Wakeboarder: I need to be made fun of for this comment but I feel like a wiener if I go to a club myself
Lego: Bro, your trippin’. I go solo many times. It’s good actually. It’s weird if it’s a first night but if I’ve been there before it’s cool.
Mystery: Yeah, I understand … and yet, staying home alone will make you feel so much better? Go out alone, meet some cool dudes when you get there (they will become your wingmen there) and then run around getting #’s. Report to your fellow PUAs what happened. Whatever happened to the concept, “The alphamale gets all the women?” Shit dude, what are you, a mommas boy? Do you need your hand held?
Lego: How do you strike up conversations with guys?
Mystery: Walk up and say, “Hey dude, question for ya. Do you know where a good place to score is in this city? ‘Cause this place looks like a cock farm.”
Lego: Good! You should be able to relate to guys to disarm them. You don’t compete; you eliminate competition.
Gamer: LOL. Dude, the only results I’ve had were solo. My friends psych me out too much because they never help. Instead they just complain about my taking too much time. They laugh at me or just generally piss me off.
Mystery: I have much better results (and much more fun) playing “The Game” alone. It forces you to approach. It’s a great motivator.
Lego: Damn! I couldn’t have put it better myself.
Mystery: You won’t be alone for more than five minutes once you approach your first set anyways. Gamer, I suggest you call them on their shit at some point. Demonstrate your alphamale characteristics.
Lego: How do you continue talking? I mean, group set dynamics are much different in a one one on one approach.
Mystery: Be a story-teller – that is the skill of the PUA. It isn’t seducing; it’s story-telling. It is my personal belief that SS patterns aren’t as ‘hypnotic’ as they are ‘entertaining’ stories.
Lego: Actually with the story stuff I see what you mean. They just follow that lead.
Wakeboarder: Well, I need to stop being a sackless wonder and grow some fuckin’ balls then! Hmm, story telling …
Mystery: Here’s an example. “Ever been camping? Well I was up in a forest up north and was hiking with some girlfriends of mine … and we came along some trail and there was shit on the path. My friends were like, “haaaa someone shit in the woods” and I said, “lets get the fuck out of here like now.” they thought I was just scared of shit and I said, “Girls, you don’t get it. This shit is still warm and its not human. It’s bear shit. This is a big fucking bear. Look at the size of that turd.” Notice it’s not sexual? Most hot girls gets get “sex-talk” right away from AFCs. Not talking sex with them makes them question whether you are interested in them. Leave them guessing until you get indicators of interest from them. If they like your great personality (confident, humorous, etc) they will give you subtle but distinct clues.
Gamer: How do you flow from story to story?
Mystery: If there is one mental state you should force yourself into, it’s talkative. Talk your fucking head off. Just go from one story straight into another one like a comedian does. Ever find yourself excited about something and you talk and talk and talk? that is what must happen to get a girl. You have to entertain them. Look talkative yet not desperate.
Lego: Dude, I had that going last night. You’re so right. That’s an excellent example, dude. I was telling this story about getting harassed by cops or some shit. It’s a cool story but my delivery sucked and I was losing one of the two girls I was telling it to. What if they fail to elaborate on your story? Besides it being a bad story to begin with, how can you fix it on the fly?
Mystery: They don’t have to interact with it. It’s a good thing to have flexible stories to allow for some comment but it’s not necessary. It’s your job to perform the material. It’s your audience’s job to listen, laugh and generally be entertained. That’s it. At the end of 10 minutes you will see the girls digging you (positive indicators). You then phase shift abruptly into the close.
Lego: How do you phase shift? I’ve been wondering this. While I didn’t come off as obvious in last night’s case and just told her to kiss me (I knew she would anyway), this could have been smoother.
Alpha: Lego, you ad libbed the close? So working on ad libbing is good?
Mystery: Ad libbed material is not as accurate in closing as is performing the well constructed and field-tested “Kiss Close” routine. Ad libbing is bonus material, but don’t count on it. Have your material, like a good comedian, prepared before performing. This isn’t “A Night at the Improv,” fellas.
Mystery: All PUs have a format; a beginning, a middle and an end. If you don’t know what the next routine is going to be then you may end up with an unfortunate pregnant pause which fucks up your pacing. You may end up filling the silence with the deadly, “So … um … what do you do?” Preparation saves face. After all, with your particular close, she could have pulled away from your trying to kiss her. Then what?!! Instead, consider engaging her in enthusiastic conversation, then go directly into the close. In other words, stop her in mid-sentence and with a curious tone, kiss close.
Wakeboarder: Cool. Lego, what indicators clued you in that she wanted the kiss?
Alpha: In what way can you be prepared? If we’re talking about story-telling in front of a random girl we just met seconds ago in a random place …
Mystery: Like a good comedian, have your material prepared yet when onstage be prepared to dynamically omit certain routines and to add others on the fly. Sometimes certain routines fit the situation better than others. Have 3 to 5 alternative openers (as a comedian would) and enjoy performing the one you think best fits the situation will get the best reaction for the group you are in front of.
Alpha: Gotcha now. Can you give me a brief example of how you go about preparing?
Mystery: Sure. First, find 3 openers and memorize them. Write down a list of openers (just the headings of each opener to remind you). Next, write down some routines (the question game, the music game, the photo routine, the bear in the woods story, etc – all on www.dejanews.com) and then also memorize the kiss NEGs too and you are good to go. With the material in your mind, you are prepared to work it in the field until you have the timing of the material down (again, just like a comedian.)
Alpha: Man, you provide some really eye-opening ideas… (just when I’m about to think there’s nothing more to learn.
Wakeboarder: So what you’re saying is have a routine set up and modify it to each situation? Kind of like having a PU template?
Mystery: It’s all about format. Know the format and stick to it. If you know what the next step is in the PU, you won’t feel scared. It gets fun and you begin to appreciate the strategy behind it all.
Wakeboarder: Yeah, like FMAC ? That’s a simple format.
Mystery: Yes, phase shift. “Find” means having to abruptly disturb your complacency by getting out of the house. It takes effort for many people to do to bother getting this far. “Meet” is a huge abrupt change. “There she is! 3, 2, 1, go!” In the “Attract” phase, you need to go from the walk up to the talkative performer entertaining story-teller. You will need A lot of energy for this (enthusiasm is contagious after all) and for many to go from slumping around to being in performer mode is abrupt. Finally you must then “Close”; to phase shift from humour to serious is also abrupt. Each phase may feel awkward but it looks normal. When a comedian finishes one topic and just goes into an entirely new unrelated topic, the audience doesn’t care as long as the next topic is entertaining.
Wakeboarder: Very true.
Gamer: Cool. I’m collecting openers and other routines off the layguide right now.
Alpha: Do you believe in the 80/20 ‘rule’? Meaning, 80% of the quality women are found in 20% of the right places or connections or situations.
Mystery: The quality of a woman is SO subjective. Quality is difficult to quantify. 80% of quality? It’s pointless trying to mix and match these concepts. instead consider that there are hotties and UGs (you get to decide based on your personal criteria) and of the hotties, some have pleasant personalities and others do not. You cannot possibly judge her personality until she likes you. So go out … find her, meet her, attract her and then decide if you want to close her after judging her personality. Judging her by the way she treats you on your approach is lame because particularly beautiful women all have their bitch shields up and running. They have to. They aren’t planning on fucking every guy that says Hi to them. The only way to get rid of the guys is to oftentimes offend them quickly. It’s not personal. It’s merely a learned strategy. So is the “I have a boyfriend” excuse, but that’s a different story. I also suggest closing everyone just for the education. You don’t actually have to call the girls of course. You simply get to practice closing too. Getting a girls number is merely an option. You don’t have to follow up on all of them you know.
Wakeboarder: Cool, judging the girls only after you have attracted them. Kind of makes you approach, too! You can’t say the bull shit line, “She’s not my type, I can tell”, to get you out of approaching.
Alpha: Do you have a web page?
Mystery: No, not currently. I’m writing a book though called The Mystery Method. Most of my ramblings can be found on the layguide.
Ascence: Hey, is it true that the older we get the more money/social status becomes an issue?
Mystery: No matter what social status you have (or think you have), it’s still something you must convey in the first 25 minutes of meeting her. We all start equal before meeting her; all men. The issue is, can we congruently convey our social status (real or not) in our performance? That’s our responsibility. The best way is not to tell them about it but rather to demonstrate it. How? Well, if you talk about having girls always falling for you for instance, it’s not nearly as good as actually having a couple hot girls with you saying what a hottie you are in front of the target. This is called pawning.
Keen: I’m going to try doing the story-telling that you talked about. It’s really hard though. I’m a real bad storyteller. I’ve been working on it today. That’s my lesson today.
Wakeboarder: Tell them about that time you saw a fallen over mannequin in the department store and you tripped over it. The security guard thought you were trying to make it with the mannequin and called you a little freak.
Gamer: LOL (Laughing Out Loud).
Wakeboarder: One more question for you Mystery. What’s the meaning of life?
Mystery: To fuck. 🙂