One of the most interesting and important subjects we can talk about in terms of having success with women and with creating a great social life is the concept of “social capital.” Social capital is basically your value in the social scene – for example, if you are at a party and half of the women there know you and greet you warmly, the others at the party will perceive you as having social value. You are an accepted, possibly leading, person in that group and likely one that others will want to know.
This is clearly a big subject and here Jason Treu of BeExtraordinary.tv touches on it below:
I think 99.9% of people are doing it the hard and long way that ultimately doesn’t really get them much success and leaves them longing for more.
When you look at the most successful people in any endeavor, they have mastered building relationships and connections with others. No one does it alone. Because…everything we accomplish in life is with or through other people. No one makes money without someone else buying a product or serve they are selling. No one has influence unless others buy into it. And on…
And the biggest pain and suffering we have in life is disconnection with others. It causes shame, feeling unworthy, fear of failure or rejection, and more. For example, if you spill milk on the floor, you might get annoyed, but it doesn’t cause you long term pain. If you get fired from your job, you feel the most pain because the people thought you weren’t good enough or productive enough and rejected you. That’s the feeling that stays with you. The act of getting fired doesn’t upset near as much as thought of why.
How does this relate to the mind frame of seduction?
I’ve personally asked hundreds of guys why they want to improve their skills with women. Their first answer is they want to get laid, get hot chicks, etc. But when I asked, “Why do you want that? (sometimes I had to ask why several times),” it boils down to wanting other men to think they are “the man.” It’s to get the respect of peers and other men. They want to walk in a room and people notice them…because most people are invisible. It’s the same reason guys who have success with women get bored and ask…”Is this it?” Because if you could have sex with any woman you wanted, at any time…eventually you’d get sick of it. The novelty wears off like anything else in life. You may not think that if you are having little to no success now…but I’ve asked guys who are consistently good and they ALL say this.
Think of it as a hub and spoke model. If you put women in the center of your world, that’s living really small. However, if you are the hub and women are a spoke you become powerful because now you have a full life in every area.
I’m sure there are people out there that don’t care about having any friends or any family or anything, but having sex with women. But that’s a pretty small number of people. Most people want to have some friends at least and someone that cares about them.
Here is a no fail approach of creating massive influence, social capital and lifestyle of success.
Mastering your psychology + creating great habits + practicing and mastering social, communication, emotional, charisma, influencer and leadership skill sets + building connections and relationships
Being successful with women is a mindset, but it also is about having next level skills…and that takes practice and a plan. No one is born with social, communication or emotional skill sets. People learn them. People learn charisma, leadership and influencer skills too. The people that master these are always more successful with women. There also the same guys that have money, great friends, access to anything, and more.
So you do you want to be great with women or create an extraordinary life where success with women is a byproduct?
Ask yourself this which situation would be easier to be successful in over the next year:
1) Going in a room of people where you don’t know anyone and have to cold approach each person
2) Walk in a room where you know at least 5 people and 3 of them are women. Where each group has at least 3 people in it. Where people are excited to see you…call you the mayor…introduce you to other women…etc. Get invited to 5-10X the private events every month such as birthday/dinner/house parties, special VIP events, etc.
It’s pretty obvious the better situation to be in. Well, #2 takes much less effort to be successful in than #1. You basically just have to show up. Well, in very little time any guy can build this lifestyle. Going from bar-to-bar to meet women is a waste of time. You can meet more than you could ever handle going out to where you want to go and having fun on your terms.
I don’t have any clients who haven’t achieved this, and there won’t be unless a person doesn’t do the work.
There is a reason a warm approaching works better than cold approaching. And the person who creates more opportunity for warm approaches, always has more success overall. It only makes logical sense.
It all comes down to social capital. Just like financial capital, the person who has more is more successful and has more options.
Clifford: Definitely social capital is a major concept. What can you contribute to our deeper understanding of how this works?