How to Talk to Women Without Losing It

In almost every session of one-on-one coaching, I give (and in hundreds of emails I receive every day) one concern stands out more than any other: “I always find myself ‘locking up’ in the presence of an attractive woman. How do I do this, face-to-face?” Carlos Xuma: This is what I call the “Real-Time” problem. When I was first learning these skills, I’d go through a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. I’d finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. But as soon as I got the conversation started WHAM. I’d…

Dating and seducing

So she laughed at you? Seduce her sister. Her sister accuses you of trying to seduce her? Seduce her anyway. But not until you make her pay. It occurs to me that changes such as (for the first time) sleeping with your friends (see Ray’s comments below), having or a threesome, wife-swapping or other activities where we move our comfort zones, we open our minds up to new possibilities, new experiences, to be able to explore the concept that you can make your fantasies your reality, that you can take that step and do those things that you only dreamed…

FR: Lair XMas Party

Since September, I haven’t gone out much. Maybe half a dozen times. Fatigue, work—just didn’t feel like it most of the time, so I’m quite rusty and need to get back in the game. The night of the party, I figure I might as well not sleep at all since I’ve flown out at 6:30 the following morning. So I put my dad up at my place and meet the gang at about 10:30. I’m evidently late, as guys are scattered around, food and beer leftovers on the table. One brother with a chick on his arm greets me: HERCULES!…

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