Mr. Montreal Madison:

For a few weeks this random add on Facebook has been liking my status, so I decided to make a move. Get her number and invite her out to meet me. After a few calls, our schedules are finally the same and we are able to make some time for each other on a Monday night.

We decide to meet down town for a drink at a shitty Monday night spot. I get there and there is a guy gaming her up hard. She’s dressed in super low and tight jeans that show her tramp stamp tattoo on her lower back, and a skin tight white shirt that screams “ Look at my boobs, I am a whore.”

I roll up on the side, she hugs me, then introduces me to the guy who is from school or whatever. He’s a somewhat nice guy but I’m not gonna let him fuck up my slag for tonight. After I go to the bathroom and come back, I see she likes the attention, so I just roll up on the side and do my own thing until she’s done getting attention, and then basically cut the guy out for the rest of the night. At one point he asks me about my career, and I give him my card over my shoulder and continue talking to my girl. I decide it’s time to leave.

We bounce to Radio Lounge, the only other Monday night spot. For the next 2 hours she is buying me drinks like crazy and I see her party animal side coming out. She’s telling me crazy lies all night like the Cirque Du Soleil offered her a job for a million dollars a year, and she’s a good person, blah blah blah. She’s trying to sit on the bar and push her boobs out, etc. There are so many girls that are DTF in the room for some reason, 4 of them spinning on stripper poles. Bizarre.

Its about 2 AM and I tell her “Let’s go” several times, but she’s deep in party mode. I go to the coat check and security starts to ask me what I’m waiting for. I point to my blonde chick, who is now holding herself upside down on a stripper pole with people clapping and cheering her on. She loses her grip and slips head first to the floor. Thud !

I go tell her I’m leaving and she can stay if she wants. She grabs her jacket. At the coat check, I see one of the other hot girls who was dancing on a pole. I go up to her and say something about her vibe and tell her I bet she’s a freak. She says: “Oh, so you can read people that well, huh ?” I tell her: “It’s a vibe, and people either have it or they don’t, and I can see it in your eyes.” We gaze at each other for a moment. She says” I wish I could breath you in all day.” We make out quickly so my date doesn’t see.

We bounce to the new house where a couple friends and I are staying. I get the most ridiculous LMR I have ever had. She tells me that the house had a murder in it, and that it’s haunted. It was so bad I just wanted her to leave, and tried to kick her out of the house. Here is a sample video I took on my phone at the moment.

She’s telling me I’m an asshole, why do all guys want sex, can’t we just be friends …

This was not a date she just wanted to get to know me …

She likes a guy already, he’s a hockey player …

I say, “Well since you don’t like me, you are welcome to go. I’m not keeping you here. But I’m gonna go lie down now, so do what you want.” She starts to lie down with me, but every time I grab her breasts or whatever, she jumps out of the bed and plays the guilt card on me. So then I tell her she doesn’t have to lie down with me and she can go. She tells me I am a bad person, and that she is a good person. This goes on for about an hour.

Eventually she is in the bed with her shirt off, and as I try to take of her clothes she strangles me with a sock. I couldn’t move because I was on top of her and she had her knee in my chest. I start to loose consciousness. As I’m blacking out she’s yelling: “You might be crazy, but I’m crazier.” So I start to choke her back, and we start fighting each other. It’s pretty violent. All of a sudden we start to make out and we fuck all night.

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