Some thoughts on comfort in set
Like all the great PUA’s, I notice even the slightest shifts in my game… it’s all a process and shifts can take weeks or months. But it’s good to be aware of them.
When I consistently started hooking and attracting extremely early, I realized that ultimately I was supremely comfortable in set.
Like when I’m rolling up to girls – there are some thought processes that never really occur anymore, but they used to. My mind used to be swirling with things to say, how I was going to approach… like a movie in my head I would watch the set go down before it did… and it rarely happened as the movie preview predicted.
So as I started gaining more and more field experience, I started not being outcome dependant AT ALL… like ZERO. I would roll in and ASSUME ALWAYS that it was on.
Doing things like
– Yelling “Hey!!!!… ok welcome back” at the girls if they weren’t focused
– Pulling them back physically if they are about to leave (on a positive vibe)
– Looking at girls as if they are RETARDED if they aren’t listening to me
– Any bullshit thrown at me is treated exactly how I would treat a 5 year old
– Blatantly telling girls I love them and want them to have my children and we have a special connection in a cocky way that they play along with
– Cavemaning girls away from their friends smoothly enough for the friends not to interfere.
– Telling them DUMB stories about my first kiss in elementary school and making them listen because it’s entertaining me
– Totally fucking with them and they know it
– Any negativity from the girl DISARMED as smooth as silk with total non reactiveness
Like the best cocktail, it’s the right mix of CHARACTER (style, conversational skill and uniqueness), PRESENCE (tonality, body language) and POSITIVITY (fun) that gets the best results.
Always be conscious of what you are PROJECTING… what do you sub-communicate as a person?… What are the most high value people projecting?
How to mix the best cocktail…
Here is an exercise I do with my students at RSD:
Think of the most RETARDED, SILLY thing to say to a girl (not anything sexual or disgusting)…
For example: “My dad has three green cats and one pink one.”
Walk up to a girl and spit your retarded line as an opener then just sit there – totally unreactive.
If she runs away – you DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT MIX
If she looks super weirded out – you DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT MIX
However, if she asks what? Huh? Say that again? or laughs – you’re good, congratulations – you project high value.
NOW this also teaches us that the game is not VOCAL based… it’s what you are projecting that matters.
I used to want the BEST lines to say, the best stories, the best routines… but I wasn’t focusing on what I was projecting…
That’s why this whole INDIRECT vs DIRECT opening thing is bullshit. They both work, in different logistical contexts… For example, I’d rather stop a moving street set with an opinion opener rather than “HEY, my name’s Tim.”
Having said that, “Hey, my name’s Tim” has worked for me countless times because I’m projecting the right things… in my tonality, my presence, my directness – I honestly do not care.
Last weekend a student asked Tyler to teach him good body language… he said “Here’s good body language… NOT WEIRD…” (of course this was expanded on)
So to ultimately be comfortable in set,
1. You should have no thoughts in your head as you roll up. None. Like just think about an opener and that’s IT
2. Be conscious of what you are projecting – do retarded line exercise until you are consistently hooking girls right off that opener
3. Think about the right mix of Character, Presence and Positivity that suits and attracts you
4. You are NEVER REACTIVE. A girl says “I HATE YOU” – you say “Have you ever eaten a lemon?”
Good luck – and always have fun playing. I am.