Ok, so I can get my girl to squirt consistently now.
The purpose of this post is to share what I’ve learned that isn’t mentioned in the squirting materials out there, which boils down to:
1) Squirting is 75% due to her conscious mind control & pussy muscle control. Only 25% your finger techniques. (yes, your finger techniques aren’t that important!)
2) The most important hurdle is the urination sensation. She has to be comfortable with it and actively embrace it and invite it instead of resisting it.
3) The second hurdle is getting her to relax her pussy muscles instead of clenching – all her previous orgasms have probably been “clenching” orgasms so it will take conscious effort on her part to relax the muscles.
4) Long, full-body massages aren’t always required. 😉
I thought I was doing it wrong when I first started trying because of lack of results. But esoteric finger techniques have nothing to do with it. It’s mostly her mind allowing her body to let go.
I didn’t realize this until I eventually made her squirt with only 2 minutes of g-spot stimulation. I.e., no need for 15 minutes or more of crazy finger techniques, it was just plain g-spot pumping, I wasn’t even trying to make her squirt! The difference was that, by then, we’d tried several times, so she was comfortable with all the sensations and knew what to do with her body to achieve the squirting.
At first, I would try all kinds of techniques on the deep spot and g-spot. Eventually the first g-spot orgasm was a crazy full-body orgasm for her, but no squirting. (Side note: the look of simultaneous shock and ecstasy on her face due to the totally new feelings is very memorable.)
So, the first time, crazy orgasm, she literally saw stars, no squirting.
The next time she dribbled.
The next time she squirted 2-3 inches, once.
Then 6 inches, 3 times.
Now 12-18 inches and the volume of liquid is insane.
When you bring it up, don’t use “squirting” as the goal. Use “full body orgasms.” Then, while you explain the pussy relaxation part to her, mention that “We’ll know that you’re fully relaxed when clear liquid squirts out.” Make the squirting part a side-effect of the “full body orgasm.” This frames it as “expanding and exploring the limits of her pleasure,” not some nasty “fetish porn trick” she has to do for you so that you can brag to your friends.
Mention that “not everyone can have these,” so that she doesn’t get performance anxiety. State that it will be enjoyable whether or not she has the full body orgasm. Tell her to not actively try to have the orgasm, that it will come by itself “like a wave passing along your body while you lie in the sand on the beach.” This is just to avoid her being nervous about making you do all that intense work for nothing.
Trim your nails very short. File them to get rid of corners. She may bleed the first few times (mine did.) Those areas of her pussy aren’t used to the roughness. You can use a latex glove if she bleeds all the time. This won’t feel as good to her, but will create less friction, which will mean less bleeding. And her tissues will get used to it, and you’ll eventually be able to skip the glove (hopefully. Wink.)
Use LOTS of lube.
Resources I used:
David Shade’s Masterful Lover
The 2 Squirting videos out there
AtoZ’s mini-seminar at a Lair meeting a few months ago
She has to be at ease with the urination sensation. My girl felt like she was going to explode with pee. I told her it was normal and she wouldn’t really pee, so not to worry about it. But she took it a step further and would actively let go of trying to hold it back (like when your bladder is full and you just relax the pc muscles and the pee just comes out on its own instead of you pushing it out) and consciously embrace the feeling and change her attitude about it to enjoy it. She would feel the pee pressure go up at the same time as the pleasure, so she “enjoyed the ride.” So she has to totally embrace and invite the urination sensation.
She has to be comfortable with herself and with you, and not afraid to be vulnerable and potentially embarrassed. I think this only applies because of the urinating aspect. If they can’t get over the fact that they might piss all over you and your bed, it will not happen. Guru master’s pee anchoring helped, accidentally. By chance one night she was so drunk she needed help walking and I held her hand while she peed (she kept telling me to get out of the bathroom, but I just held her hand and kept repeating, “Just hurry up and pee already!”) A week later she told me that her peeing in my presence had ended up making her feel more at ease with the pee sensation in my bed. In her mind, it was no longer a big deal if she actually did pee on me or my bed. I throw out some bath towels to cover the bed so she doesn’t feel so bad about “making a mess”.
She has to totally relax her pussy, not clench it throughout the process. This will take intense conscious effort to achieve because her body will naturally clench. If you feel her clenching your fingers early into it, pause and tell her to concentrate on relaxing those muscles.
She has to be horny. Tease her a lot. Take your time. Give her an oral clitoral orgasm first. Start giving her another orgasm but just stop completely right before she comes just to bring her to the edge even more. Unlike men, subsequent orgasms in women can be more intense than the previous ones. Start the techniques, then do whatever gets her crazy hot while you’re pumping her g-spot (e.g. dirty talk, spanking, hair pulling, biting, etc.)
My physical techniques: (again, don’t worry about strictly adhering to to these other than the “MEGA” section.)
Start with “TEASING” the g-spot: light pressure, slow and long stokes. Open your fingers (v shape) and stroke in “come here” motion along the sides of the g-spot—not directly on it. Do long, slow, light-pressure “come here” motions starting about an inch past the g-spot and ending with your fingers at the pussy entrance. Do short “come here” motions with light pressure only on the g-spot (i.e. you’re only stroking the g-spot, not the space before and after it, so half-inch strokes.) Alternate/cycle between the above 3
Switch to a FIRMER pressure when she gets more vocal: medium pressure medium speed and shorter strokes. Use the same “come here” motions as above but with harder pressure. Hook the back of g-spot and pull towards the entrance, but fingers move only half inch, kinda like you’re pressing a button (but on the back of the g-spot mound, not center.) “Edge” her: as she gets louder, switch back to “teasing” for 10-20 seconds, then back to firmer. Keep this cycle going as long as you want.
When she starts getting really loud and you want to go for it, switch to “MEGA” pressure. This is what you see in the squirting videos. Insert index & middle fingers closed, you pull your arm up to push straight up on the g-spot towards the ceiling (as if you’re trying to lift her ass off the bed.) Put the palm of your other hand on her pubic mound (where the hair is) to hold her body down, as this puts more pressure on her g-spot. You can do this really hard and fast, she won’t get hurt. Her eyes will bug out the first time—it’s something she’s never felt before.
Once you feel her clench at this stage, you pull your fingers out and she should squirt. I couldn’t get her to squirt if my fingers stayed in. She explained that when something’s inside her, her body automatically clenched on it to heighten the orgasm feeling. So one time she autonomously told me to pull my fingers out and this was the first time she squirted a decent distance instead of dribbling. She says she got the idea from one of the videos (she’s such a good student!)
If you don’t feel clenching, get her to tell you as soon as she starts orgasming, and this is when you pull your fingers out. Unlike guys’ orgasms and clitoral orgasms, they don’t need stimulation DURING “squirt” orgasming—as soon as the orgasm starts you can pull out and the orgasm will keep going and going. Pulling out the fingers is the key; after I pull them, out she squirts, then convulses for 2-3 minutes (just like a wind-up toy!) then laughs and giggles uncontrollably for another 2, then needs to cuddle.
I debriefed her after every session. She explained what she felt before and during orgasm and what she was doing in the pussy area. I provided suggestions for next time.
I kept a “experiment” journal. I’d note all the aspects of the session. Stuff like drunk or not, how many previous orgasms, time between orgasms, finger techniques I used, what she tried mentally and physically, amount of liquid, intensity of orgasm for her. One of the key questions was how was this orgasm compared to the previous sessions? This was a guage for my techniques so I’d add/remove techniques depending on whether last time was better or not (obviously you want the orgasms to keep improving.) In the end this wasn’t really needed. Just make sure her orgasms keep getting better and that she’s doing what she needs to do internally (relax, declench, welcome the urination sensation.)
I lucked out with this girl, super high self-esteem. She was fearless and eager to challenge herself. She respected my “authority” and followed my suggestions without questioning, and provided her own. It’s going to be harder for the low self-esteem women.
After a few tries I had her watch one of the squirting videos with me. I’m going to do this with all girls; the guy on the video’s demeanour & respectfulness demonstrates to her that this is not some sleazy nasty thing I found on the internet. It puts them more at ease. Seeing the girl convulse and giggle proves that it’s an awesome experience for the woman.
I asked her to do Kegels after the first squirtless g-spot orgasm. She did these almost every day for 2-3 weeks. In retrospect, I should have waited because now I don’t know whether or not they actually made a difference (i.e. changing too many variables at once.)
Like I mentioned, at first I was obsessed with my finger techniques, but it’s really mostly about her. With the 2-minute squirt, I skipped the light/teasing pressure and went straight for firm pressure and MEGA pressure before I pulled my fingers out and she gushed. So I used minimal finger technique, but it was about our 5th session, so she knew what to do with herself.
More evidence of this is that I’ve been trying to get another girl (that I’ve been with for 1.5 years, so theoretically she should be comfortable with me by now) to squirt and she can’t even have a vaginal orgasm yet! I use all the same techniques on both girls. Same explanations. Same reassurances. Nada. Her fear of peeing is overwhelming, so she can’t relax. I think she’s got some deep-rooted urination issues as ANY vaginal stimulation causes the pee feeling—even the side deep-spot (i.e. towards either hip, so no contact whatsoever with her bladder!) That one’s gonna be a fun, tough challenge!
I’d like to clarify my reformed reasoning for this “squirting” goal which I realized after writing the above post.
At first the “squirting” goal was just for the silent power rush. To bring the sexual aspect of my game to a point where 90% of guys would not be able to compete. I would be able to get a woman’s body to do this crazy over-the-top trick you only see in pornos, so that means I’m a sex God—woohoo! Yes, slightly ego-centric. But I’ve come to realize it’s SO MUCH MORE than a cool trick.
Before experiencing it first hand, I thought “squirting” was just a plain vaginal orgasm that was accompanied by squirting, but it’s much, much more:
She gets extremely tingly from the tips of her toes to the top of her head and tips of her fingers. It starts at her pussy and radiates outwards along her body.
She loses control of her body. It just convulses heavily and there’s nothing she can do to stop it once it starts. Wow, the power of the pussy. Why the heck is this a part of women’s bodies? There’s no biological/evolutionary need for it! Amazing.
Intense euphoria. She gets really happy and giggly. She gets a huge smile on her face and she just cannot get rid of it, and she doesn’t understand why she is feeling this happy.
It lasts longer and longer every time! 2 minute, full-body orgasms just to start. After a few times, tell her to try to concentrate and indulge in the sensations. The orgasms will last longer! (Just like how you can devour a cheesecake vs closing your eyes, taking small bites, and letting it melt in your mouth.)
Her body is tingly for hours afterwords.
She’s relaxed and happy for DAYS afterwords.
Note: these results don’t seem to be present in “natural” squirters. I confirmed this with a natural squirter platonic friend. She can squirt during regular sex but she has no idea why. It just started happening one day. Her squirting orgasms feel better than regular vaginal orgasms, but nowhere near the craziness I experienced. I think this is due to lack of the “MEGA” pressure technique. I’m going to get her to try MEGA and see what happens.
Anyway, after succeeding and seeing these unexpected results, getting repeated praise from her (I respond with “You’re welcome, and I’m jealous,”) and the big smiles and happiness radiating from her, I realized the squirting part is a cute bonus that goes along with the real gift.
The real rush now for me comes from giving a woman this incredible gift. Unlocking this hidden part of a woman’s existence for her. Unlocking this insane and unexplainable source of pure happiness that is already within her.