For those who are new to the Centered Man Project, here is a taste of the fundamentals. To those familiar with our work, Here is a refresher.
1. Have you been visualizing every day? That includes who you want to be, what kind of experiences you want to live, what kind of future you see yourself in, and what kind of girl you want to attract. Below are my notes taken from a book by Charles Haanel (can’t remember the name) on how to visualize correctly:
– Hold the image of what you want in your mind. Next, have the absolutely unquestioning faith that what you want is on its way to you. Never think or speak of it in any way other than as being sure it will arrive.- Gratitude is the process of mental and emotional adjustment- Be specific about your desires: go over them like a man doing inventory of his house. Get a clear mental image of the outcome.- Like a sailor looking toward port, you must never lose sight of your vision.- Maintaining the vision is not enough, there must be unwavering faith that what you want is already yours, that you have only to take it.- By continuous contemplation you will get a clear picture of what you want. When in doubt, all you’ll have to do is refer to the mental image and it will stimulate your faith and purpose.- A day or two spent in quiet contemplation and in complete gratitude to the Supreme will ensure that when you do act, there will be no mistake.- The formula: form a clear mental image -> with faith and gratitude know it is yours -> ignore everything that points to the contrary.
Even if you don’t believe in its esoteric implications, as mentioned above, visualizing helps guide you. You will know if you aren’t living on your path, and you will know where to go to get back to it. It provides the motivation to get off your ass and make it happen!
PS: Visual aids always help. I have 2 folders on my computer. One labeled badassery (which contains lifestyle pics, pics of men I consider badass, nice apartments I’d like to live in, etc.), and one labeled cuties (you can guess what you’ll find in there). Every few days I look through them before visualizing. When visualizing, if you ‘come to’ (so to speak) and catch yourself smiling, you are doing it correctly.
2. Are you living your passions? Take time once a week to unwind. No tech, no interwebz, no phonesies, no tweets, no snapchat, no Tinder, no friendster, no Myspace, no wtv!!! Just silence. Pure and pristine. Then, live your passions! Do what you love to do. Recharge your batteries.
3. Is your life an adventure? One of my favourite principles of CMP is that everyone has the right to refuse. This ties in with what I said about passions earlier. Here’s what it looks like: You wanna try Yoga so you hit up a yoga studio because the first class is free. There you meet a cutie, so you talk to her and realize she’s cool! So you blurt out (as you should already be doing) “You’re actually fun! I’m impressed, girl. I’m very straightforward so here goes… Life is short, you’re fun and I wanna get to know you. When are you free this week?” GREAT! You now have a date. Now back to your passions, you are going out and exploring life and trying new things. You hear about this great recipe that looks SO delicious. So you call the girl from Yoga and you say “Okay girl, get ready, I’m stealing you. Dress casual, nothing fancy, but make yourself cute for me. I’ll take care of the rest.” You meet, and go grocery shopping. You joke about how she would make a great Filipino cleaning lady.
You tease her and call her Consuela, then tell her to grab some rice cause it’s the only thing she’s allowed to eat while under your employ. You get all the ingredients you need then go home and cook that recipe with her. You both enjoy it, then you both enjoy each other. See? On your path, like a true centered man. She’s just invited to come along. I don’t understand guys that are like “HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I HAVE A DATE OMG WHAT DO I DO LULZ?!” I just imagine it’s my 70 year old aunt (I have an old aunt) coming over. I’m chilled as fuck, and if she flakes… well, I wouldn’t cry if my 70 year old aunt has to cancel. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
4. Are you taking action?? This is HUGE! I will make this clear. If you are unhappy for whatever reason… GET. THE FUCK. OUT. It’s as simple as that. Feeling shitty is a luxury. My favourite list of excuses (stemming from the darkness of my own mind)
– I’m too tired. Solution? Go out for an hour. If I still feel tired, fuck it… I’ll go home. (RARELY happens)
– I have too much work. Solution? See above. Also, design your life to be productive. I HIGHLY recommend reading Robin Sharma’s blog or just Googling “Robin Sharma productivity.” He gives great solutions and my life is more organized as a result. One main thing is sleeping less. Yep! Wake up at 5 am if you can, and go to sleep early. On the nights when I go out, I tend to sleep til 9 am MAX. That’s 6 hours of sleep and I function relatively fine. You don’t actually need THAT much sleep.
– I don’t know where to go. Solution? Adventure! Find the cool spots in your city. Or Google “nightlife” and whatever city you’re in then GO to the coolest looking place.
– I don’t have anyone to go with. Solution? Draft a friend and tell him he gets $100 at the beginning of the night. For every group of people you interact with, he gives you back $10. Now see if you won’t go talk to that cutie standing alone by the bar ; )
– I don’t feel like it. Solution? What kind of a man do I want to be? Does he behave that way? Also, am I living at the level I want to? If I am, great! Stay home. If not, though, you better get your ass out and make it happen.
– I don’t have any money! Solution? In the summer where I discovered CMP and started all this 3 years ago, I would wake up at 9 am, take a 30 minute bus up and back down Cote des Neiges, I would start at Guy and St Catherine street and just walk all the way down to St Laurent, go up St Laurent, then to St-Denis, then back down to St Catherine, then back up St Laurent to get in to the clubs at 10 pm and stay there all night. I did all this with a full-time summer job (I went on my days off). How much did I spend? 0$. Bus costs nothing. Get in to clubs early. If you hate clubs, speak to women outside. I don’t drink alcohol, but even when I did I wouldn’t buy. How fucking bad do you want it?
Hate your job? Fucking quit. No one here has kids or a family to look after. More realistically though, what are you doing to change your situation? We all get stuck in shitty situations, but they’re only temporary if we act. Try your ASS off to get that job you want. Did you apply? Oh sure, to one, or two, or three. But did you apply your fucking ass off? Did you call every one of them to follow up? Did you walk to the office, past the secretary and into your future employer’s office and fucking convince him that you are the one for the job? I have a friend who quit school, walked right into a Rolls Royce dealership and into the boss’ office. He gave him a speech that goes along these lines: “Sir, I have no sales experience, but for the past 3 years I’ve been going out every single day and interacting with people. I’ve gotten rejected over 10 000 times by models, celebrities, and prom queens. I’ve gotten threatened by boyfriends, kicked out of bars and almost died. I do not fucking quit.
I will literally chase the client across the street until they come back and buy from me. I do not take no for an answer”. He got the job. Learn web marketing on the side and sell whatever you’re good at. Be it personal training sessions, art work, whatever you are passionate about. I don’t care how bad you think your life is, or how you deeply ingrained your beliefs are that this is as good as it gets. HOW BAD DO YOU FUCKING WANT IT?! I read about a guy who was homeless last year. This year he made 10 million! I don’t give a fuck how. The point is he did it! Don’t know how? READ BOOKS. Turn off the TV, turn off the bullshit and don’t sit and sulk. READ READ READ READ. I’ve read a total of 14 books in 2014 so far. I’m currently juggling 4 books and will have them done by mid April at the latest. TEAR THROUGH THAT SHIT and learn.
My goal is to make $100 per day. I’m graduating Uni in a month and am overloaded with work. I am dating two girls and will soon have more. I have family obligations and friends. I went out last night, slept 6 hours, am going out tonight, tomorrow and Saturday night. HOW FUCKING BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
5. Are you feeling good? Really this is the last fundamental. All of this becomes fun if you feel good, but feels like a chore if you feel like shit about it. Why would you wanna go out and talk to people you hate, in loud environments where people are fake? When I go out, I look for the beauty in people. I go out and adventure it up like I’m already dead. I talk to the girls I want to because they might be the girl I’ve been looking for. I speak to men who seem interesting because I want a vast network (which has so far payed off with job offers, awesome exclusive events, not paying a $ or waiting in line at the highest end clubs in Montreal). I do this because by the time I turn 50 I don’t want to look back and realize that I married out of convenience, am stuck in a dead-end job because I didn’t have the courage to live like I should, and hate myself forever.
Now, do you have your playlist titled “positive” or “feel-good” or “motivation” ready to go whenever you feel like you need a motivation boost? Do you have a list of affirmations or mantras that remind you who you are (Mine is Fate loves the fearless)? Do you have a list of things to feel grateful about when you feel bad? You should probably get on that. One thing I use when I can’t focus and am just out of it is the YouTube channel BuddhistSocietyWA. They have awesomeeee videos that I learn so much from and are just so soothing.
To those taking action and living like rockstars, hats off to you gentlemen. To those who aren’t, this is a wake up call. Life is too short to play it small.