Here is a question I received not that long ago on how to deal with questions from a woman on being a player or partyer or something like that.
Typically, this question arises when a woman knows you are:
· – Dating multiple people
· – In the early stages of getting to know her, and you still want to see other people
· – You’ve given off that vibe or she knows some information about you
I’m really starting to figure this all out and I’m taking my entire life to the next level. However, I’m concerned women will now see me as a player or some kind of partyer. Is there anything wrong with this? How do you deal with it?”
First, I want to discuss an overall approach…
You can’t worry about what every one is thinking. Ultimately, you have to make your own decisions and create the life you want to live. People are going to think…what they think. You will never be able to please everyone, so don’t even try to do that.
It all starts with:
1) Being clear, focused and certain on what it is you want in your life…and why, specifically, you want those things.
2) Mastering your psychology and creating extraordinary habits
3) Creating an action and people plan to make it happen
4) Developing exceptional communication, social, and emotional skills
You will also have to define success on your terms and what that means to you…otherwise you will try to get success through external validation (i.e. society’s definition of success). Measure your life and existence with the metrics that make you happy.
Secondly, I want to discuss a specific example to apply this to.
Here is a conversation that happened to me a few years ago with someone I met a couple times…
Her: You’re such a player and love to go out all the time.
Me: And what’s your point?
Her: Well, I want a man to pay a lot of attention to me and be only into me. Why do you need to be out on the town all the time? Don’t you want to settle down?
Me: Would you agree that it’s hard to find a really great person that you have a fantastic connection intellectually, emotionally and physically?
Her: Yes, of course!
Me: Would you also agree that you have to date a number of people to increase the chances of meeting someone amazing that is a good fit for you?
Her: Yes, duh.
Me: So, are you saying that I should stay in my house, watch T.V. every night, and wait for the right woman to magically walk through my door?
Her: No, that’s not going to happen!
You: Exactly. Any more questions on this topic?
(And then we move forward to a great conversation and night out with me and my friends.)
Does that make sense to you? Do you see how that would work?
Now, this type of a conversation is a rare exception for me to have because I’d either bridge the subject to something else or walk away. I just did it to see how it would work out.
I’ve tried this route of logic on other people, and I never get push back.
Try it and see how it works for you!