Good day, gentlemen

I was walking by a tea place the other day and I noticed a lovely blonde woman at the counter, looking bored. I told my friend to hang on a minute and I walked over and started talking to her. She ended up being a great girl and we got along really well, so naturally, I invited her out with me later that week. I asked her if she had a piece of paper, and she immediately ripped a piece out from the cash register and wrote her name and number and handed it to me, without me even having asked for it. As I walked out, my friend asked me something peculiar. He asked “Did you get her number?”

It’s interesting if you think about it, but we tend to put so much importance on the phone number, as if it is a goal in and of itself. It really isn’t. A phone number is just a series of digits scribbled onto a piece of paper, stop making it into such a big deal.

Take it easy!

Getting a number is nothing. In fact, if you went up to 100 women, and simply said “hey, give me your number,” chances are that many of them will give you their number. How solid will that number be? Probably not much.

No, don’t waste your time focusing on a number. Focus instead on a context. The goal of the interaction is not to get a phone number, it’s to meet someone that you are actually excited to see again. You aren’t aiming for the digits, they are simply a tool to set up your next encounter.

Context is the key

It’s the key really. Most guys are like dogs chasing after cars – they wouldn’t know what to do with it if they ever actually caught one. In the same way, most guys get the number and then think “… Now what?” And that’s precisely what you want to avoid doing.

So start by dropping stupid statements like “give me your number and I’ll text you some time” from your repertoire, it’s not doing you any favours.

Instead, start by finding out something she likes, and once that’s done, set up a context for your next meeting. For instance, she mentions she loves trying out new restaurants, so tell her about this awesome hole in the wall Burmese restaurant that no one has ever heard of. “Clear your plans Thursday, we’re going to eat there!” and then, only then can you add “what’s your number? I’ll text you if there’s a change of plans.”

One thing my friend and I used to do a lot was meet gorgeous women, and then, once we’ve figured out how cool (or uncool) they were, we would invite them over for a Mortal Kombat party. That’s right – we’d have gorgeous women sitting on the floor eating brownies beating each other up in Mortal Kombat on the Playstation. Basically every geek’s wet dream.

It’s not that hard really, the point is to simply shift your attention away from the number itself, and instead focus on creating a context – two people who get along great and are having a laugh can not not want to meet up again. Keep it relaxed and invite her to join you on your next adventure – the phone number is an afterthought, something required only to signal a change of plans. She’ll actually be excited for your call.

To your success my friend.

Patrick Ananda


Patrick Ananda
Patrick Ananda

Patrick is a scoundrel, rogue, vagabond and founder of the Centered Man Project. He teaches men how to overcome their social anxiety and fear of rejection, by unleashing their unshakable self-confidence.

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