The notion of a shit test, or a strong woman going out of her way to challenge a man,is enough to induce fear, confusion, and panic into a man’s psyche. It is seen continuously as a bad thing.
Something you must WIN.
Winning only exists if the option of losing is the counterpart. These elements are only prevalent when playing a game, and you cannot lose when the game you are playing is YOURS! You are the referee.
Instead of seeing a strong woman challenging and testing who you are as a bad thing, instead, see it for what it is – a chance to show her who you are, and to grow exponentially in the process.
Strong women have made me who I am today. They have simultaneously broke me down and built me up. They have shined a mirror on all of my deepest insecurities, basically saying step the fuck up, or I’m gone!
So, what does it mean to truly ‘step up’?
The most important advice I can give you as a man looking to improve right now, is to DEFINE who you are, and what you stand for.
What will you tolerate from others, and what will you not.
What do you have to offer a woman, and what do you EXPECT from her?
Establish your life rules, and break them for NOBODY! Ever!
You need not prove yourself to anyone, because when you live by your own rules and designed morals, proving yourself to a herd who are saturated in society’s rules is completely pointless. They are in a completely different game…actually a different sport altogether.
Instead, you can choose to educate.
A very simple example of this: Last night I had a new girl over. We had met twice, and last night we slept with each other for the first time. It was really good, present sex.
In general, she is not used to my forwardness in how I verbalize my thoughts. Simple words such as “come here,” or “turn around,” she labels as demanding, and she will respond with “no, you come over to me.” Basic testing of if I believe and stand by my rules for real.
She went to the bathroom after sex and came back. Before this, she had went 2 times before and left the bedroom door wide open upon returning, so I verbalized I want it closed, got up, and closed it myself. Very simple, yes?
The 3rd time she returned, she left it wide open on purpose, smirking while getting back into bed. This…is not ok. Allowing this seemingly harmless dynamic to continue can be incredibly detrimental if not understood.
I looked at her when she got into bed, and this is what our conversation went like:
Me: Please close the door
Her: No, you close it
Me: You were last in, you did it on purpose. I want the door closed, it’s very simple
Her: No, I don’t want to, you go and do it. I’m not doing it.
Me: (calmly and serious) Close the door…or leave.
She instantly kicks off, again, seeing how strong I am in what I just said.
“SERIOUSLY, if I don’t close the fucking door you want me to leave….you’re getting so worked up over this, JESUS?”(i was completely calm, relaxed and non reactive.)
Me: If you did it by accident, I wouldn’t care. You went out of your way to do something you know I don’t like. That’s unattractive to me. Either close the door or leave.
She got up, and began to get dressed…
I said nothing.
She put her bag on…pretended to look at her phone…stalling.
I said nothing.
“You really want me to leave?”
Me: I never said that. I like you being here, but I dislike how you behaved. Close the door or leave!
She looked so confused and not sure what to do.
I stood up, and took her by the hand. I stood her up facing me. I removed her bag slowly and placed it on the bedside locker, and pulled her dress up over her head, removing it.
I turned away, and lay back down on the bed. Leaving her standing.
“Come on, get into bed,” I said.
She walked over and closed the door. Smiling. Incredibly happy that my masculinity and strength did not let her down.
She cuddled into me affectionately.
I asked her…the guys you are usually with must be very weak?
She said nothing, just nodded. I told her she will get used to me. She nodded and kissed my chest, laying her head down.
As a man, be willing to lose it all to hold your rules and morals intact. This is not being disrespectful. This is being unwaveringly respectful to the woman you desire.