If You’re Not Afraid a Lot, You Aren’t Doing Much

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Patrick Armen in Centered Man Project

July 11, 2014

“I have really bad Approach Anxiety”

This coaching session is off to a great start.

“You don’t have approach anxiety. There’s no such thing,” I say in an increasingly exacerbated tone.

“Yes I do! You don’t understand, I can’t even talk to women!”

“When was the last time you spoke to a woman?”

“I can’t remember,” He says.

We’re off to a great start indeed.
The fact of the matter is that being nervous, or anxious, or afraid is a GOOD thing. It means that you are alive!

I find that most people are hitting roadblocks that are entirely constructed. In other words; you go out into the world, action causes reaction and releases a splutter of emotions that take over your body.


What are you feeling? Where?
The feeling of Approach Anxiety is a completely made up concept. Some asshole noticed a ball of energy in his core and labeled it with words that have negative connotations. Like a plague, all of a sudden hundreds of millions of men suffer from it every year. Seriously?

Picture this; You are doing your thing. Walking around without a care in the world. The latest One Direction song is playing on repeat on your iPod and you feel like a boss. Then, you see her! Like a fucking tractor beam, your eyes cannot look away from that stunner in the sundress walking confidently towards you. Pay attention now: You see her (action) and your body releases emotions (reaction). They are neither good, nor bad. They just are. Those emotions usually feel like a giant ball in the base of your chest. If you label it negatively, like Approach Anxiety, that ball of energy will tighten in your chest and rise a little bit, paralyzing you. However, if you recognize it for what it is, Approach Excitement, then that ball of energy stabilizes and settles into a type of warm relaxation (Arousal!).

The truth is that if you aren’t afraid a lot, you aren’t doing anything. The current state your life is in is a direct reflection of the amount of action you took. I have a friend who once calculated that, if you find yourself at least 1% attractive, than in any given city, there are at last 10 000 women who would sleep with you.

If you are alone tonight, it’s your own fault

I’m going to get a bit in your face: Go out there and be afraid! Have no money? Start a business. Scary? Good. Alone tonight? Get out there and talk to every single girl until one goes home with you. Take the ego beating. Take it like a man. Be savage with your ego, it is the reason you aren’t where you were meant to be.

Be afraid, my friend… Be very afraid!


For more information visit: http://centeredmanproject.com/

Patrick ArmenAuthor

I’m the founder of the Centered Man Project.

What can I say that has not already been expressed through my work? I am dedicated to beauty. I am dedicated to love. I am dedicated to ideals and, call me crazy, I have an unshakable dedication to making the world a better place.

I revel in good company, I adore art, I breathe challenge, and I come alive around women. If I could only inspire, awaken and bring beauty into one person’s life, then I could die happy.


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