Little boys don’t get to have the finer things in life, this is for adults who are willing to pay the price.

There comes a time in every man’s life where he’s faced with a choice: either do or don’t. That’s graduation. That moment when finally faced with fear, that crippling weight is felt on your shoulders and instead of backing down, you rise to the occasion. Throw your hat up, you’re now a man. On my journey I’ve seen countless guys fail, but worse still, I’ve seen countless fail to grow. That is a crime in and of itself. It’s annoying really to remind ourselves of this sad fact, but there is no other way. Nothing in life that’s worth having comes easy – be it your dream job, your dream girl, your dream physical condition, or your dream lifestyle. It is available, it is real, it exists and it is attainable, but at the end of the day the difference is weather or not you have the balls to take it. Are you willing to put up with the humiliation? The ridicule? The pain of having to get so close and start from scratch when the rug is pulled out from under you? If you aren’t, go ahead and play with the boys. The finer things are for the men, will you be one of them?

Pure fun, don’t want anything, emotions go up and up, climax is sex.

Sex is a natural thing. In fact it’s the most normal thing ever. People always act like it’s such a big deal. I remember in high school, all the guys were planning ‘sex dates’ and would develop all kinds of intricate plans to get laid. Not much has changed it seems. Once, at a conference I was speaking at, someone asked me how do I “trick her” into coming home with me. I replied that I am not a magician, nor am I a stage clown.

Go out on an adventure and be curious about everyone. Talk to everyone, give love and sincere compliments. Breathe in deep – it’s a luxury to be alive. Meet a woman, or two, or three. You’re being you; having fun, expressing yourself and discovering others. You connect with one of the women you’re talking to. She’s fun and flirty and there’s just a general good vibe between you two. She laughs at your jokes and leaves her hand on your knee. You take her hand to tease her about how manly they are and all of a sudden you find your hands haven’t parted since. Before you know it you two are kissing. “Let’s go on an adventure” you say as you’re walking around the bar arm in arm. Suddenly the bar isn’t big enough for your adventures… You need the open air, the wilderness of stars above, so you leave together. You end up in your room sharing music. You lie down on the bed, the lights go out, the rest is history. No manipulating, no lying, and no regrets. Sex is just a natural conclusion of a great time. In the same way that violence is often an outlet for negative energy, sex is the expression of positive energy.

Abundance is a feeling that the world is a lively and exciting place.

One of my favourite scenes probably in all television history is in Entourage when Vinnie Chase has a day off and decides to go read a book. Eric is shocked and says “but you don’t drive!” And Vince answers “true but I do read E, I do read.” And goes off to the bookstore. There, a cute woman strikes up a conversation with him. Next thing you know, they’re having coffee, then shopping, then having sex in the changing room and finally, rolling around her bedroom having a good time. When he left the house, he didn’t intend for that to happen. However throughout the entire series, he placed himself in a mindset where he is ready to accept that outcome if need be. This is a fundamental distinction between intermediate development and advanced. For the intermediate, there is a gap in his personality. There is the Me that works 9 to 5, the Me that spends time with my family, the Me with my friends, and then the Me when I’m speaking to women. It is a conscious act to go out and be charming and secretive. The advanced, or Centered Man does not see a distinction. To him, the world is a giant adventure and every opportunity is a treasure hunt. He goes out with the intent of finding beauty. And so, in this open and receptive state, he walks in freedom, ease and joy, and like a magnet he attracts beautiful people and experiences in his life. Flirting is an afterthought, charm is innate. There is no on or off – there is just him. Strive to be the Centered.

Another interesting distinction between intermediates and Centered Men is the concept of hierarchical abundance. I have Julie; if she doesn’t answer, I have Stacey; if not, I have Christina, etc. This is not abundance. Abundance looks like an atom, where you see yourself as the core, and everything else (people, experiences, wealth) just rotating harmlessly around you – not stuck to you, but close enough for you to reach out and take. That is abundance.

Patrick Ananda
Patrick Ananda

Patrick is a scoundrel, rogue, vagabond and founder of the Centered Man Project. He teaches men how to overcome their social anxiety and fear of rejection, by unleashing their unshakable self-confidence.

    2 replies to "Little Boys Don’t Get The Finer Things"

    • kilo

      Great article, very true about abundance, it’s a core concept you must embrace before being able to succeed. I find some of my life in this, going about my day and ending up places I never would of imagined is quite the thrill. As far as I’m concerned it’s the only way to live and feel amazing everyday.

      Great work,

    • […] wavering back and forth and being unable to make solid decisions is an unattractive trait. You’re the Man, you’re the one who should to be in control (or at least be able to be in control if need […]

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