David Shade ( masterful-lover.com/sexualpower/):

This article applies in the context of an ongoing sexual relationship. Typically, men feel a great deal of sexual frustration in their relationships. Every night that he and his woman go to bed, he is hoping and praying that she will want sex. He turns to her, but she rejects his advances. A pattern has been set. Going to bed means he is going to want sex. In that case, sex is assumed. She knows that sex is a given. She is only going to do it if she feels like it, but nothing has been done to make her feel like it. That is boring for her, and frustrating for him. It continually reduces her interest in sex. You must not wait until going to bed to start seducing your woman. Once in bed, it is too late. Instead, you must always be seducing her. Seduction goes on all the time. This is done with “mental foreplay.”

This concept of “mental foreplay” is the convergence of three important truisms:
1) Women want foreplay
2) Sexuality for women is entirely mental
3) Everything between your and your woman is sex

First to elaborate on those three points:

1) Women want foreplay. You’ve heard this before. It has been said countless times. Everyone knows it, but so few men do it. Women complain that her man just goes straight for intercourse without even warming her up. This does not mean that women don’t like an occasional quickie. They do, but certain things first need to be true before she is receptive to that. I will explain later in this article. A big mistake that men make is they wait until going to bed to start foreplay. That gets boring for women. She doesn’t want sex to be assumed. And worse, it makes her feel objectified; she feels like she is perceived as just a body, not as a person. Don’t wait until going to bed to start foreplay. Throughout the day you must use “mental foreplay.”

2) Sexuality for women is entirely mental. It has been said that for men, sex is sex, but for women, sex is everything else. There’s a lot of truth to that. For a woman, sex must include so much more than just intercourse. For her, it is very much mental and emotional. Consider the fact that men download porn while women read 400 page romance novels. This does not mean that women aren’t horny. They are horny. More precisely, they are very sexual. More so than men, and far more so than most men can comprehend. Sexuality for a woman is vitally important. Of course, we are considering the mentally and emotionally healthy woman, to whom you should restrict yourself. A few women of very low self-esteem or emotional trauma will not respond in healthy ways, though deep down inside they truly are sexual. It’s just that they will behave in ways that seem to defy logic.

3) Everything between your and your woman is sex. First, let’s define some terms here. Most people think of foreplay, followed by sex. But in actuality, foreplay is sex. That’s why it’s called “oral sex.” When people use the term sex, they usually mean intercourse. Intercourse is only one of the many things included in sex. Think in a new way. Anything that you and her do to each other while naked in the bedroom is sex. Actually, you don’t have to be naked, and you don’t have to be in the bedroom. You could be masturbating her while you two are at the movies. So really sex is anything that you and her do to stimulate each other’s genitals. Actually, you don’t have to be stimulating her genitals. You could be sitting with her at a restaurant and simply command her to have an instant orgasm on command. That is sex. So sex is basically anything that sexually stimulates her. There are many things that sexually stimulate her. You could be narrating a sexual fantasy to her. That stimulates her sexually. So simply narrating a fantasy is sex. You could be telling her how you are going to make mad passionate love to her when you get her home. That stimulates her sexually. So simply mentally preparing her for sex is sex. There are many ways that you mentally prepare her for sex. You mentally prepare her for sex when you tell her that she looks beautiful to you. So by definition that could be considered sex. I could go on. But basically, everything is sex.

All of the things discussed above are done using “Mental Foreplay.” Inside the bedroom, foreplay is physical. Outside the bedroom it must be mental. A woman once said, “If a man can fuck my mind, he can have me.” She is articulating the mental aspects of female sexuality as “mind fuck.” Let us instead refer to it in a less derogatory way as “mental sex.” This goes back to my concept that “everything is sex.” Furthermore, foreplay is sex, so thus it follows that “mental foreplay” is “mental sex.” Backing all the way up, we see that mental sex begins with seduction.

Seduction must go on all the time. You must at all times be seducing your woman in some manner. It may be subtle, it may be obvious. But it must always be taking place. Women absolutely love being seduced. They love the way it feels. They feel beautiful and sexy. They feel desired. They get to feel all the things that women love to feel. And it results in them wanting to celebrate that. Even in an ongoing relationship, a woman wants to be seduced by her man. Always keep an air of sensuality. When your woman thinks of you, she must think thoughts of being seduced.

You can even do this when you two are apart. A great way is to send her text messages. They may be innocent messages with sexual innuendos, or they may be blatantly sexual. Here is a generic example from a secret journal I kept during my recent 2 1/2 year relationship. It starts innocent and works up to blatant. At this point in the journal, I had been dating Anne for 3 months, and I had been giving her wild screaming orgasms. We were together Thursday night, and were going to be together again Saturday night. Friday, while she was at her work and I was at my work, I text messaged her:


Anne: Hi Handsome!

David: Hi Beautiful. You looked so beautiful to me last night.

Anne: 🙂 You looked pretty hot yourself!

David: You felt so wonderful in my arms, Baby.

Anne: It felt wonderful to be held by you, Baby.

David: I cannot wait to see you tomorrow, Baby.

Anne: I can’t wait to see you too! I still haven’t decided what to wear!

David: I can’t wait to see what you have selected. You always look so beautiful to me.

Anne: You always make me feel beautiful, David.

David: You always make me want you so badly, Anne.

Anne: I want you too, Baby, badly. I’ve been thinking about you all day!

David: Have you been thinking about how badly you want me to make love to you?

Anne: Yes!

David: Tell me how badly you need me to make love to you.

Anne: David, I so badly need you to make mad passionate love to me!

David: Tell me how badly you need to be fucked by me.

Anne: David, I so badly need to be fucked by you!

Now to talk about the conditions for your woman being receptive to a quickie. If you do all the things I have described in this article, she is always going to want you. She will be very receptive to a quickie. In fact, you want to do that occasionally. For her it is very exciting. But only if you have been seducing her all along. A seduced woman can be sexually aroused just as quickly as a man. In fact, even faster when she has been continually and properly seduced.


In conclusion: never make your woman do anything sexual. Instead, bring her sexuality out in her. Never push your woman to do something. Instead, always lead your woman mentally to want it. Lead her mind, and let her body beg to follow. Make her hungry for it, and then when you feed her, satisfy her beyond what she even knew she was capable of, thus leaving her even more hungry for the next time.

David Shade
David Shade

David Shade is “America’s Renegade Sex Expert” who had the courage to go outside the boundaries of conventional wisdom to find the things that really work and work very powerfully to give women incredible pleasure. As a result, he has improved the sex lives of tens of thousands of couples worldwide.

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