Brooke Ryan, dating and attraction expert from Meet Your Sweet has some advice for guys looking to have the right seduction mindset.
Men: Mind-Frame for Seduction
When it comes to the art of seduction, what I always say to men is don’t take things too seriously!
The best approach is to go in light and relaxed – have a bit of fun, have a laugh, and build attraction and desire as you go. Honestly, the topic of conversation doesn’t even matter that much… just keep it light, fun and let it flow naturally. And to really amp up that sexual chemistry, add in a cheeky compliment here and there, tease her a little and make plenty of sizzling eye contact.
Let’s face it – a girl is not going to be comfortable getting into bed with a guy that makes her feel awkward, or is just plain boring. But she is going to get pretty damn turned on by the guy that keeps making her laugh like a schoolgirl.
On the other hand, going in and trying too hard to impress her is only going to make you come across as phony and unnatural. Women canpick up on these things like a hawk spotting its prey from a mile away- and it’s not attractive. Seriously guys, you don’t have to be a cool, intimidating Christian-Grey type to get a woman hot for you.
And going in with super-high expectations isn’t going to do you any favors either. You want to be confident and relaxed, but able to easily brush it off if it doesn’t work out with a girl. Believe me, I know how personally a guy can take it when he gets turned down – but realistically, there are any number of perfectly valid reasons why a woman isn’t taking the bait – and most of them have little to do with the guy himself.
In fact, guys who are experts in the art of seduction don’t let themselves be brought down by a little rejection here and there – nothing breaks their fun, nothing-phases-me attitude. And the ladies love them all the more for it. So when things don’t go according to plan, laugh it off and move forward.
One of the biggest mistakes I see guys making is putting girl up on a pedestal – building her up to be ‘so hot’ and ‘so amazing’ that she becomes unachievable. Having this attitude automatically lowers a woman’s opinion of a guy and make him seem ‘low-value’… she will sense it before he even gets near her.
No girl belongs all the way up there, and no girl actually wants to be up there. So what I tell guys is to lose the apologetic, self-reducing, groveling attitude. This is not sexy! And instead, to go into situations telling yourself that you are the type of guy that woman naturally love to be around – the type of guy that can attract any girl, no matter how hot she is.
Be proud of who you are and what you do – realizing that you’re a pretty damn good catch yourself means you’ve already won half the battle.
Clifford: A lesson that many guys have a real hard time with is to understand their value. A good rule to live by is that you are the most important person in the relationship. We look at attractive women and give them power and status they don’t necessarily deserve, instead of realizing that it’s a two way street and they need us as much if not more than we need them. Think about it – no matter how good looking a woman is, without a man to complete the picture, her looks will go unappreciated. It’s like yin and yang – one alone without the other is just nothing.
I do however understand the problem. Maybe you can accept and understand that women need and want men, but then the next issue is do they need and want you? Guys don’t really understand their power, and here’s a simple idea that could change your whole way of looking at how women relate to men. Men are like dogs – if you have had a dog or at least understand the love that people experience with dogs, consider that it doesn’t matter what a dog looks like and they definitely don’t let their self image make any difference in how they show their . No one and nothing will love you like a dog – they don’t do anything but enthusiastically come after you and love you. And what happens? Women are crazy about them. They can be the ugliest mutts on the planet, but their eagerness and affection are irresistible. So the next time you think that it’s your looks that make a difference, realize that the right personality is what will endear you to women and anyone.
If you have some thoughts on the above, let me know.