Mystery the pick up artist comments on the seduction advice of David DeAngelo.
There isn’t a lot that Mystery has said that adds to what Sisonpyh had written, but I think Sisonpyh’s words can’t be reread often enough so here it is:
Sisonpyh: You don’t need to argue with any of it, unless of course you’re feeling insecure.
Mystery: I have a feeling I will agree (and therefore endorse) most of your methods as being very sound advice though I may add some considerations here and there.
Sisonpyh: I made the decision about two and a half years ago that I needed to get the area of my life ‘handled’ called ‘dealing with women.’ So I made a decision and a commitment to myself and my best friend that I would do whatever it took to learn and ‘figure this out.’ (Read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Chapter #1 for more on this mindset).
Mystery: People who consciously decide to FOCUS on the PUA I believe dramatically increase their desired results.
Sisonpyh: Background: I had always had ‘girlfriends by default’ as Ross Jeffries calls them. they were there, and I felt lucky to have the opportunity to get them to be my girlfriend. But I never knew how to approach women that I didn’t know, and I could sit in a bar for three hours making eye contact with a woman, and never have the nerve to go talk to her. Right now I’m just turning 30, I’m about 5’10 160. I think I’m reasonably good looking, but I’ve never been the kind of guy that women just walk up and approach. (I say this to give you frame of reference in relationship to the comments in this newsletter relating to looks, etc.) I’ve made myself more attractive by paying attention, learning, and using what works. When I made the decision to get this part of my life handled, I decided that instead of trying to start with an angle (working at a strip club, becoming famous for something, etc.) that I would like to learn in a way that gave me power to act on just my presentation etc. (I may do the angle thing soon, as I have my skills to the point where I like them now).
Mystery: Yes. Get the basics of approaching people down and once you discover you enjoy the game, you may decide to make your life congruent with your new hobby (as I have – performing artist). I highly suggest becoming a comedian (amateur to start), a DJ (club or strip club), a hypnotist, a bartender, bouncer, etc. to live more congruently. It isn’t WHAT you do that is nearly as important as WHERE you do it. A job that forces you to interact with women is a very good thing. Working in a morgue is not good.
Sisonpyh: First, I looked at myself. I asked “If I were the type of woman that I would like to seduce (I like super hot, very intelligent women), what would make me want to be with a man?” So I started reading, listening to tapes, going to seminars. you name it. And I started to work on my ‘presentation’ of myself. I now think that it’s important to get EVERY POSSIBLE thing going for you that you can. If you have fucked up teeth, that doesn’t prevent you from dressing well. for instance. So don’t let it. Get a cool hair style. Buy nice clothes (don’t tell me that you don’t have the $$$. get on eBay, go to the Nordstrom Rack and look at the clearance items. I did it to begin with.) If you will do just a few key things, they won’t necessarily HELP you get laid, but they’ll get rid of things that are PREVENTING you from getting laid now that you don’t even realize. Make no mistake about it. if you’re interested in the hottest women, you’d better realize right now that these things make a difference. You don’t have to work out 10x a week, but get your body in at least OK shape. You don’t have to have perfect teeth, but make sure that they’re clean and that your breath is great. Learn what nice shoes are, and how to keep them nice. Figure out how colors and clothing go together and what is cool. It’s worth it. I wasn’t ‘cool’ when I started, now I’ve learned how to be. Huge difference. (Am I saying that you can’t get laid if you wear Nike’s and have fucked up hair? No. But remember, a blind pig can find an occasional truffle.)
Mystery: “Well Groomed” is a must for all PUAs . AND … you’d be surprised how many guys fuck this rule up. Ask yourself, “Had I shaved the last time I went out? Had I shined my leather shoes? Had I put on deodorant and whore lure?”
Sisonpyh: Here’s my mindset: Keep improving all the time, even if it’s the SMALLEST DETAIL. (I noticed recently that at least once every time I go out, a girl will ask me for a light. I always just said “I don’t smoke” or “No” and left it at that. Couple weeks ago I said “Ah-Ha” and I went to the lighter store SPECIFICALLY to find the coolest lighter that anyone has invented. I bought this trick torch lighter that makes a huge flame. looks like a welding flame. So what do you think happened the first time I went out with it? Right. got asked for a light. and fucking freaked the chick out. Nice.) I intuitively knew that there were certain major steps to a ‘seduction,’ if you will. This is how my mind naturally thinks. I’ve now broken these down in my mind to:
1) THE INITIAL APPROACH
2) MAKING THEM TOTALLY FASCINATED WITH ME
3) GETTING THEIR PHONE NUMBER OR EMAIL ADDRESS
4) GETTING THE FIRST MEETING
5) GETTING THEM TO MY HOUSE AND CLOSING THE DEAL
Mystery: you have consistently NOT gone for the kiss close I gather. May I suggest doing this more because the chance of establishing a LTR is greater by being passionate ASAP.
Sisonpyh: Underpinning all of these is my self image, confidence, personality, and all of that other intangible bullshit that takes a bit to get under control. so let me address how I got that together before I talk about what I do specifically. (By the way. this is the most important part of what I’m writing right now. All the rest has flowed from my attitude and confidence. not the other way around. So if you read nothing else, read this. not the other parts.) I’ve been studying NLP and hypnosis for years. since before it was cool. because I have always been fascinated by how people work. So I began by creating self image exercises based on NLP and Timeline therapy, and doing them all the time. (Read Frogs Into Princes by Bandler and Grinder and The Secret of Creating Your Future By Tad James) I also started keeping a personal journal of everything that I was learning and doing, so I could reflect on it. And MOST IMPORTANTLY I found and started to hang around with guys that GOT LAID LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN. This was the biggie.
Mystery: I believe of all my friends, I am the guy who gets the most women so this works great with my friends but then how do I learn? What is your score? Maybe you and I should hang out and share the field.
Sisonpyh: I owe much of my success to the guys who showed me in the real world what they did to get laid. It wasn’t the books and the people selling tapes and seminars. It was the real world guys that were getting laid. What I do now resembles nothing that I’ve really read in a book or learned from a guru (With one or two exceptions that I’ll share later). So the BEST advice I can give you is to find about 5 guys in your area that know what the fuck they’re doing, and say “Hey, I really want to get this part of my life handled. can I take you to dinner (no kissing) and pick your brain man?” Be humble and cool, and you’ll make some friends. Like I said, find about 5 different guys so you can get different perspectives and see how it all fits together. By the way, go read the chapter in Think and Grow Rich about the Mastermind as well. IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE, DO THIS ONE THING. IT WILL MAKE THE DIFFERENCE. If you DON’T do this part, shut your mouth, and keep your learning cap on, you’ll be one of the guys that writes to Cliff saying “Well, when Mystery had this chick that said “I really love it when a man just sweeps me off my feet” why didn’t he use the skydiving suckerfish pattern instead of kissing her?” Those of you that know what I’m talking about say Amen, please. (I had to say that for us) I decided recently to start studying comedy, as I’ve found that women respond to it better than any other thing in the whole goddamn entire universe. So I did a bunch of reading on the internet to find the best books, and I bought about 5 or 6 of them. One book that I’m reading right now called “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Helitzer made a great point… He said that most of being funny is the CHARACTER and not the jokes. Most of the guys that I meet who want to learn to get laid are working on the jokes. I did it for about two years myself. Tried to learn all the patterns and all the lines and all the bullshit. It finally dawned on me that women were not really that concerned with all of that. they wanted a particular CHARACTER. The lines didn’t much matter, as long as they fit in with the character. Now that I have created this CHARACTER for women, things are all different. Women now call me. They pursue me. They want to be around me. It’s fucking strange and magical and weird.
Mystery: This is EXACTLY what I had done as well as have suggested to my wings here. I took it to the next level and got in comedy stages doing short acts. If you can attract an audience, you can attract 1 girl (or her groupset).
Sisonpyh: So what’s the character that they want? Good question. I have a good friend who’s the best I’ve ever seen at picking up women in bars and having sex with them that night. Now, I do better getting numbers and closing the deal later. But this guy just kicks ass. And his whole mindset towards meeting women is to be “Cocky and funny” (his words). My opinion is that women are turned off by arrogant men. UNLESS. they’re DAMN FUNNY. This magic combination will attract women like this list attracts guys who don’t get laid. I’m following in my buddy’s footsteps. I’ll try to summarize my character for you: “I know that this chick is secretly trying to pick up on me. I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really keep the heat on. and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me. so I can reject her again.”
Mystery: I highly endorse this advice. I do this and I believe it is THIS that helps my game.
Sisonpyh: I do crazy shit like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look them right in the eye.
Mystery: Good stuff. Ill try this out and tell you about my results. It is good for 1:1 though not valuable for social proofing in groupsets (where 10’s are primarily found).
Sisonpyh: Or say “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face. I say things that make them actually think that I’m serious, but leave a shadow of a doubt. Here’s what I’m looking for: If they respond in an insecure way and say “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that I was touching you” I’ll keep it going. and say “Well, you did. And if you’re going to keep doing it, I’d appreciate it if you’d touch a little higher.” They crack up. If they shoot something funny back like “Well, touchy touchy” and they know that I’m kidding, I just stay in character and say “Yes, I don’t like being touched. So keep a foot or so between us please” and keep it going. And yes, sometimes (not often) I’ll meet a bitch and she’ll get uptight. I just walk away. If you’re going to do this, you have to remember to keep it going for the entire time. don’t turn into a dumb ass at the first sign of her liking you. I keep up this shit until a chick is in my bed and naked. asking me to have sex with her. and I say “No, I don’t think so. You don’t sound like you really mean it.” I’m not kidding. At all.
Mystery: Again, perfect advice. What is your score in the game out of curiousity?
Sisonpyh: OK, so get out there and learn to be cocky and funny. By the way, read ‘Body Language’ by Julius Fast, Chapter 7. about Mike. I’ve read that chapter about 50 times. You may not get it at first, but keep fucking reading it until you do. The more you learn, the more you’ll get it. Also, read ‘The Rules’. yea, the one for chicks. Do that stuff. it works. end all conversations first, etc. Also, read ‘How to Make Love to a Woman’ by Morganstern. Good stuff in there too. And learn how to be funny. do whatever you have to do. It’s the magic ingredient to add to your cockiness that sets the mixture ablaze. One more quick thing on chicks. I’ve learned that some women don’t really respond well to having their balls busted. These women are usually not as intelligent, and like to think that they ‘deserve to be treated better.’ Interesting combination. If you have one of these on your hands, you can go ahead and treat her well, but you’re going to find sooner or later that MOST LIKELY (not always) she’s going to be a pain in the ass and try to own you. anyway.
Mystery: 10’s admire you for busting their balls.
Sisonpyh: Now let’s talk about the mechanics of what I do (and what some of my friends who are get laid kings do). 1) THE INITIAL APPROACH This one is simple. I’ve tried every goddamn fucking thing that I’ve ever heard. and a few have worked for me. Here they are. If I’m in an environment that has a lot of people, and I’m with a friend, I like to start by asking a woman for her ‘opinion’ on something. Here’s how it happens. first of all, I keep my eyes open for current affairs and interesting trivia that involves gender differences and tension. This makes for amazing conversation openers with hot intelligent women. My latest favorite: “Hey, let me ask you a question. My friend and I were talking about something, and I think we need a female perspective.” (This is a killer, by the way.
Mystery: Yep, good stuff. Consider not saying FRIEND but his name. Also, consider asking her to SHARE HER PERSPECTIVE AS A FEMALE.
Sisonpyh: It’s taken me a long time to figure this one out. but it kicks ass). Then I say “I was just looking on the internet. and do you know that the average woman in America is 5′ 4″, weighs 150 pounds, and wears a size 14?” Ohhhhhhhhhh DAMMIT I LOVE THIS ONE! They usually grab the ball and take off into the conversation with just that.
Mystery: This is very clean stuff. Love it. (Another Mystery Endorsed Idea.)
Sisonpyh: Others include “Do you think that men understand what women really want and need?”
Mystery: Good, but consider rephrasing so its not a close ended question. YES and NO answers bite.
Sisonpyh: and “What do you think of this new trend of women wanting to pay their own way. and the Charlie’s Angel’s theme song that sings about this as almost a stuck up thing to do?” You with me here?
Mystery: Asking a girl to share her opinion on a social issue. I like it. Works great with the 3’s rule. Not good if you stale out and finally approach her with this. Very good stuff.
Sisonpyh: After starting a conversation, get into Mr. Cocky and Funny mode, and you’ll do some good work. If I’m alone, and the chick is alone/with friends I usually start with a compliment opener. depending on the situation. And I always try to tie it into the situation, so it doesn’t sound canned. Women that I run into can smell canned openers. I think that they’re getting popular again or something. because women can sense them like a dog senses kitties. I might say “Excuse me. I noticed you when I walked in, and I had to take a second to find out what you were like.” or something equally plausible sounding.
Mystery: As I was reading this I was about to debate the compliment thing but this compliment is very subtle and evokes curiousity. I like it. However, consider NEVER saying EXCUSE ME. EVER. Instead, say HI. Then pause.
Sisonpyh: What I’ve realized is. if you’re going to approach a woman, what you say doesn’t much matter as much as HOW you say it (remember the character thing?). 2) MAKING THEM TOTALLY FASCINATED WITH ME I’ve really explained how I make them fascinated with me above. by being cocky and funny at the same time. and busting their balls thoroughly. But another important distinction that I’ve made is to never be too happy. Women are intrigued when you stay very calm, almost unaffected. The real hotties are used to having men get nervous when talking to them, and they can sense that you’re different when you stay very cool, and calmly talk to them. NEVER let them sense that you’re interested. (By the way, all these rules are different if you’re trying to get married. this stuff is for getting LAID).
Mystery: Interesting insights on not getting too happy. I convey enthusiasm but it comes from what I have to say rather than my talking to them. Also, I believe that creating FASCINATION is not the result you want. What I strive for is ADMIRATION (very similar to ENVY). If you can get her admiring you for things you’ve done or had happen to you and they wish THEY had similar experiences then you are MONEY.
Sisonpyh: 3) GETTING THEIR NUMBER I’ve now stopped going for numbers. instead I get email addresses. Let me explain. I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of years ago. If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her number in under 90 seconds. I found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that numbers don’t = Laid. Can I have an Amen again, my brothers who know what I’m talking about?
Mystery: Yep. A # is merely an OPTION. There is still blurring to contend with.
Sisonpyh: OK, so here’s what I do now. After I’ve talked to a chick for about 3 or 4 minutes, I’ll often say something like “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends.” They usually don’t know what to do, as they’re used to guys clinging. Then, just as I’m turning to walk away. and we kind of disconnect. I turn back and say “Do you have email?”
Mystery: Get both. With the # comes the symbol of HER interest in you. AFTER you get the #, THEN get the email addy too. Getting an email is not a positive indicator of her interest in you so much as her #. Of course you will email her first but you also have her # so you can play checkers together on excite and then call her at the same time (if she has cable or a 2nd line).
Sisonpyh: If they say yes, I take out a pen and paper and have them write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the ‘yes’ that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they’ve ALL gone along with it so far) Then I say “Write your number down there too.” I won’t go into all of it, but this move is a powerhouse. When you ask for email, it’s very low risk for them.
Mystery: I hear what you’re saying. Thing is, while asking for the # is not going to get great results, LEADING her to give her # and then ALSO getting her email is the thing to do. “This was very good. It’s unfortunate we have a time constraint as I’ve got to get going. What steps must we take to continue this?”
Sisonpyh: so they think “Fine, I’ll do that”. and then when they’re already writing, I get the phone number too. which is more natural. If they say “no”, and that they don’t have email, then I bust their balls and say “Well, do you have electricity?” Then I say “Well, OK then. I like email better, but I’ll take your regular phone number. it’s so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days.” I hope you get what just happened. OK, then, as they’re writing I say “Is this a number that you actually answer?”
Mystery: Right. You are using the ASSUME THE SELL concept. I have used this countless times and yet have better results with LEADING THE CLOSE. Never ASK for the #. Just LEAD her to suggest it to you. Email is still too wishy washy (as an indicator of interest). Usually the job of attracting her is done on the first meeting and is not spread to the phone call (you don’t want to have to TRY and convince her to see you on the phone). I admit that email (or rather realtime chat) is good at conveying trust and such, I still think you can do this better LIVE. See where I’m coming from?
Sisonpyh: If not, then I say “Look, write your real number down. it’s going to be OK, I’ll only call you nine times a day.” They laugh, and give me their real number.
Mystery: This is hammering THROUGH the shield instead of going UNDER it.
Sisonpyh: 4) GETTING THE FIRST MEETING Mystery just wrote some genius level stuff about this recently, which really has me thinking. but here’s what I’ve used so far. First of all, my mindset. I have decided that I need about 20-30 minutes to get to know a woman before I decide that I’d like to spend enough time with her to get laid. I actually like women who I enjoy, and who I’d enjoy seeing for more than just one bang session. So I like to meet them for a cup of tea and talk for a bit, or even let that lead to a bite to eat sometimes. So my mindset is that I’M THERE TO QUALIFY THEM. Not the other way around.
Mystery: Fair. Here is my mindset: I like to do whatever it takes to make them like me and then I have the option to continue this into a relationship if I so desire. If not, I learned from the experience PLUS have a pawn for the future. I qualify them AFTER I have their #. Besides, you will appreciate a girl more when they already like you, right? I don’t qualify them over COFFEE (Coffee – sitting at a cafe – is AFC bigtime). I qualify them after good kino (that way I know I COULD fuck her and if I don’t I know it’s MY CHOICE and not actually HER CHOICE and MY EXCUSE.) I like to WIN even if I don’t FUCK her. There is also something very cool about having a girl like you and you saying NO to HER. Do this infront of your next target and BAM you are into your next set with awesome social proof .
Sisonpyh: They pick this up, and respond accordingly. Riker says that there are two roads that you can go down. The road of ‘Friends leading to a long term relationship’ or the road of ‘Banging your brains out.’ This is true. Women see men that they get involved with as either long term material or fuck material. You want to be #2. If you like her, you can always switch to #1 later. Trust me. If you get on road #1, you’re going to spend a lot of time and $$$ and most likely never wind up with anything to show for it other than a curious dry feeling just below your abdomen. Also, I used to be very touchy feely with women. I’d massage their hands, and touch them a lot, etc. leading to kissing etc. I’ve now learned that if I lean back and kind of almost don’t touch them at all on purpose, it creates this tension, so that when I do actually touch them, they respond powerfully. Milton Erickson calls this ‘Building Response Potential.’
Mystery: Hmm, ok. I do kino and if the response is bad, I punish the target with my negative body language and silence for a few moments (which is one type of neg – I use others too). Without telling her you are training her to do things that please you. If she fails, she quickly realises you don’t treat her with respect and make her feel good. NOT kinoing on her is powerful but only once you HAVE and then STOPPED.
Sisonpyh: Onward. So here’s what I do once I have the email and/or phone number. First of all, I really do like email better. I get probably 4 out of 5 women that I email to email me back, as opposed to maybe 1 out of 2 or 3 calls returned the first time. I write and say “Hey, it was nice meeting you last night. what are you up to this week? Would you like to join me for a cup of something wonderful and some stimulating conversation? Talk to me.” If they don’t answer that one, I write back a couple of days later “What, playing hard to get already? Nice. Talk to me.”
Mystery: Horrible. Granted this phase is the most difficult to get experience on because you can’t get to this til you get successes with previous phases. The failures in this are: you didn’t suggest something to share (something to do – never coffee) on the # (or email) close. This failure will fuck up the chances of her wanting to get together (blurring). Saying nice meeting you if to reaffirm that you JUST met. Instead, go into a topic of discussion as if you were the best of buds (just think what you would email reply to someone you already knew well). Asking what they are up to this week sucks. You know why – it leads them nowhere. Instead, YOU demonstrate your ability to take control by offering her opportunities to get together. “I need to pick up something at the mall. I’m going to swing by and pick you up so you can keep me company. If you have anything that needs to be done then we can share our chores.” This is SO MUCH better for obvious reasons. This cup of coffee thing is done SO FUCKING OFTEN (asked of the girl by all the other guys in the past) that with it comes baggage … memories of boring chats with people they didn’t know.
Sisonpyh: I get most of them emailing me back by this point. When they do, I say “What’s your # and when’s a good time to reach you?” Now, here’s why I do this. Duh! When I email them, for some reason they feel like we’re friends because we’ve emailed back and forth. don’t ask me to explain it. it’s fucking taken me two and a half years to figure it out.
Mystery: Again, assuming the sell. Your results will increase dramatically if you give them an event option on the close (then you have a REASON to close them). Email is good no doubt but it stretches out the time from meet to meet again from NEXT DAY to a WEEK.
Sisonpyh: They also return your calls after you’ve emailed them a couple of times. again, don’t ask me why. some freaky chick thing. OK. so, now I’m on the phone with them. I want to get together with them for about 30 minutes and see what they’re like as a person, and decide if they’re someone that I’d like to know better. I’ll say “Well, let’s see. what’s your schedule for the next few days? (I chose a time.) Why don’t we get together tomorrow at about four. Do you know where the blah blah blah coffee shop is? Great.
Mystery: All this is old man stuff. How old r u? Fuck SCHEDULE. A woman NEVER schedules meetings with FRIENDS. You are framing formal dating shit this way. AND you are structuring a … DATE. This is a horrible PHONE.
Sisonpyh: if we get along, then maybe we can go for a bite to eat. but you know, coffee is a safe bet. this way if you’re scary in person, I can say “Oh, hey. um. I just remembered that I have to go floss my cat. it’s really important.” and then we can call it a night.”
Mystery: That is why inviting them to join you for a car ride to somewhere (to get some shit done) is so powerful. It’s open ended. You are in charge and can choose where to take it as it goes. Nothing like talking in a car to trap a girl in a conversation. Play music and blast it to make her FEEL. Drive funky if you desire (give her the wheel and pretend to close your eyes – while secretly having one eye open), head to the mall … possibly choose to visit a friend quickly … even a sister. She sees your life as it IS – builds trust quickly. At the mall, a sit down for food is natural … but to exit a “shit, I got a page – my friend needs me to babysit – I gotta drop you off.” or better … “can you get home ok?”
Sisonpyh: This makes them laugh, but it also gets them thinking “Who the hell is this guy to be qualifying Me?” which is perfect. Next, I tell them that the coffee place is close to my house, and why don’t they just meet me at my place, ring the bell, and I’ll come out and we can go. this way if she’s a few minutes early or late, I don’t have to be waiting (got this from Riker, the fucking genius that he is) Then I say “Now, let me ask you this. what are the chances that you’re going to not show up tomorrow? answer> Because one of my pet peeves is people that are late or flaky. I can deal with a lot of things, but I’m always on time and where I say I’m going to be, and I never have an excuse or don’t show up. so I just wanted to make sure. because if there’s one thing that could end our friendship before it starts, it’s flakiness.” This sets the right tone for flaking, as you can see.
Mystery: That is similar to the PHONE RULES that are given during the # close. “When I call you, remember my name and act pleased or I won’t call again. Fair? And in return Ill treat you the same.” Making a girl wait is something I have done NUMEROUS times if they had pissed me off for something. If a girl was late for me, then I RECIPROCATE and make sure not to apologize. I act like it was no biggie. “Hey. I underestimated the distance to here.”
Sisonpyh: ***HERE COMES THE KILLER! Next, when we’re getting ready to hang up, I say something like “Great, it’s going to be nice to get to know you better. And if nothing else, we can just be FRIENDS.” It’s taken me and a good friend of mine a long time to get this piece. From here on out, I constantly drop hints about just ‘being friends’ and how I really ‘like her as a friend’ and how ‘it’s nice to meet someone that I like as a friend.’
Mystery: Intesting point – I guess you first look for whether or not it’s good to use or not.
Sisonpyh: Hear me on this one. this fucks them up soooooo hard that they literally don’t know what to do. This is most likely the first time IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE that this has happened to them. And it continually triggers their insecurity and makes them wonder why they’re not attractive enough to you. It also disarms them completely. (You have to really have the mindset that you are qualifying them, and that they’re going to be your friend for this to work.)
Mystery: Yeah, I can see that work. YOU LJBF them and this will throw them off balance. How do you, however, recover from this? I mean, they will say “sure, friends is good.” sure they say that outwardly and inwardly are insecure, but how do you verbally recover later when you want to ‘change your mind’?
Sisonpyh: 5) GETTING THEM TO MY HOUSE AND CLOSING THE DEAL When they come over to meet me, of course I just happen to need to go put my shoes on, or a belt on, or get my coat or whatever. so they come inside and have to wait for a minute. This way they’re already comfortable in my house. (Thanks again, Riker)
Mystery: This is if they come to YOU. Of course, this imposes an ongoing potential time constraint on the get together (it’s HER CAR – her control of the time). Using YOUR car is safer. If she drives to YOU, then getting her in is a good thing. If she calls from downstairs (apartment) you can say “I’m on long distance to Chicago – come up … apartment XXX … BZZZZZZZZ.”
Sisonpyh: Then I walk out, and seem like I’M IN A HURRY TO LEAVE. Most guys would try to get them to stay and get cozy with them. I want them to think that I’m not interested, and that I want some coffee. Total indifference. At coffee, I’m just sitting and being my funny cocky self, making jokes, and in general leaning back and making ‘friends.’
Mystery: Great attitude – horrid EVENT. You want to structure an ADVENTURE. You don’t tell her what is going to happen – you just let it unfold … not like a series of events like in a blind date (that bites – not the show but the linking of lame events) but heading to destination A to get something, then to B to drop it off, then to C to see friend … then while there plans change with new options, etc.
Sisonpyh: I used to analyze handwriting, do palmistry, do hand massages, and touch them. do patterns, whatever. Not anymore. Now I’m just sitting there ACTING LIKE WE’RE BEST FRIENDS. When you act like a they’re a best friend, they will rapidly get comfortable with you. I make fun of people, whatever.
Mystery: This is entirely congruent with my type of game. You’ve spent a few hours be NORMAL and FUN and then you head back to your place still acting normal … and THEN … phase shift to kino … with the kiss close and acting like a pouty child needing attention.
Sisonpyh: I just totally lean back and relax. I’m cool and relaxed, but at the same time making comments about how we’re going to be friends, etc. I’ve learned never to compliment a hot woman on her looks, period. I still fuck up and forget, and I’m always reminded why I don’t do it. I try to find one thing that she’s insecure about, and talk to her about it like ‘a friend’. no overly critical, but not saying ‘no, you shouldn’t be insecure’. I just keep bringing it up, and even making jokes about it. Here are a couple of rules of thumb that I use: 1) Never give a woman a direct answer. unless the answer is NO. This is a big one. If she says ‘Can we sit here?” I say “No, let’s sit in this one next to it” or if she says “How do you like my dress?” I say “Well, I think that I like it. just give me a few minutes to see it on you” or if she says “Call me tomorrow” I say “No. You call me tomorrow. cummon, you want me and you know it” Get it?
Mystery: I do do this. Cool – we found what works.
Sisonpyh: 2) If she complains about you or doesn’t like something, turn it up a notch and do it more. If she says to me “I don’t really like it when you say that.” I say “Well then you might want to leave, because I say it a lot” Get it?
Mystery: Agreed. Now is the time I should tell you about a visual metaphor that I’ve been considering lately. It’s called HOOP THEORY. A girl will hold up a hoop and expect you to jump through it. An example: “What sign are you?” Most just will jump through her qualification (she only asks cause she wants you to be a COMPATIBLE sign) but instead, grab HER hoop and hold it in front of her for her to jump through … “Guess.” Now SHE must jump through her own hoop. This example was a very simple one but HOOP THEORY gets profound as more hoops get held up by her. I will be expandng on the HOOP metaphor in my book I figure. Examples from the field, how to change hands from her to you, etc.
Sisonpyh: HER: I don’t really like it when you say that. Mystery: (her hoop is held – she wants you to acknoledge that you will change – thereby jumping through the hoop.)
Sisonpyh: YOU: Well then you might want to leave because I say it a lot. Mystery: (If she doesn’t leave, she has jumped through the hoop.)
Mystery:You may jump through her hoops, but must hold your own hoops up (the same # of them) for her then. Just think, “Ok, I jumped through one of hers. She OWES me one.” NEG ‘s are hoops. If she NEG ‘s you, you must remember to NEG her soon after. Hey, fair is fair.
Sisonpyh: 3) Women are CONSTANTLY testing to see if they can get you to comply with them, and as soon as you do, they hit the road (or marry you). This took me years to see and understand, but the fact is that when you’re dealing with a powerful, hot woman, she will do all fucking kinds of things that make no sense at all logically, but all the sense in the world when you understand her mindset. Hot women can have anything they want. What they want is a challenge.
Mystery: EXACTLY. HOOPS! They make hoops and we jump through them. ONLY – they will accept the challenge to jump through OUR HOOPS when we provide them. Why do they do it? For the same reason why AFC ‘s jump through THEIR hoops – the need for acceptance (insecurity).
Sisonpyh: Something that keeps their interest. Here it comes. If a woman can have anything she wants anytime she wants it, then WHY THE HELL DO GUYS THINK THAT THEY’RE GOING TO BE NTERESTING BY DOING THE SAME THING THAT EVERY OTHER GUY HAS DONE? Duh. Hey, I used to think this way. but then I got a clue. Now, I pay very careful attention, and never let her have what she wants. If she says “Kiss me” I say “No” if she says come over to my house I say “I’m busy right now, I’ll come over later” if she says “I want you so bad, please make love to me” I say “Well, I think that you need to wait a little longer, and besides, I’m not finished kissing you” Get it? I NEVER give a woman exactly what she asks for. EVER!
Mystery: Perfect. So my HOOP THEORY is valid then. Good. You reaffirm that my theory is sound. AWESOME.
Sisonpyh: 4) Always send mixed signals. ALWAYS. Tell her I want to be friends, and kiss her. Tell her that what she just did was unacceptable, then go kiss her. Spank her if she does something nice. Also, respond differently to the same thing. For example, one time if she comes over and sits on my lap, I kiss her. Another time I push her off. get it? Never be predictable. NEVER.
Mystery: DUDE! This is some AWESOME shit. I have from time to time in my past done this and I never noticed it before. This is AWESOME. I LOVE IT. What is this called? MIXED SIGNAL THEORY? (It needs a name).
Sisonpyh: OK, so we’re on the way home from coffee (because I said “OK, let’s go.”) and we’re back at my house. Here’s one that I love. if it’s at night, look at your watch and say “Well, I have to get up in the morning. but. OK, you can come in for a few minutes.” Fuck that’s great. You’re talking to her like she’s trying to convince you to let her in, and she hasn’t said anything! Nice.
Mystery: PERFECT STUFF. This works. This again is ASSUMING THE SELL THEORY.
Sisonpyh: Then I just walk in and let her follow. (By the way, just for the record, I always open doors for women, walk on the outside of the curb, and pull chairs out, etc.) If you act chivalrous and bust her balls at the same time, you’ll be rewarded with good things from Santa. So now we’re in the house. and I take her for a tour. and either sit down on my bed to talk to her, or on the couch. wherever we kind of wind up. And I just kind of get a little quieter and let her talk while I look at her. I lean away from her and keep looking. sometimes looking away as if I’m thinking about something.
Mystery: Here you are trying to phase shift from NORMAL to SEXY kino . I give them the “There comes a time to just shut the fuck up and trust your emotions” speech. (That is the punchline to the entire routine – find the routine somewhere out there – I gave it to Craig – he has the text AND saw it in real life by me too).
Sisonpyh: Then, I reach over and start stroking her hair while she’s talking. I stroke down at the bottom first. If she’s OK with this, I take it as a sign that she’s WAAYYYYY into me and is probably going to be wanting sex within 60 minutes (if you have any doubts, ask a woman if she’ll let a guy stroke her hair while she’s on his bed on the first date if she’s not into him). This is a big piece of the puzzle that I’ve figured out. I used to do all kinds of massages and other stuff, but I now use the simple hair stroke test. If they like their hair stroked, they are at VERY LEAST going to be making out with me in short order, period. I’ll occasionally do a hand massage here, or a little neck massage, but next I pull her close to me and cuddle with her. and then land the killer.
Mystery: Yep. Consider doing the KISS CLOSE – it’s a KILLER right about now.
Sisonpyh: I have personally always liked the way women smell. so when she’s laying next to me with me stroking her hair, I begin to smell her shoulders. just a little at first, and then more and more. while stroking her hair. Within about 5 or 10 minutes, I’m smelling her neck and ears. no kissing, and no groping at all. Never! I’m just smelling, then leaning back and acting like I’m completely enjoying the smelling, and it’s relaxing me. Try this, my friends.
Mystery: R U … Mystery? I do this!!!! Your shit is really pro, dude. You are spot on. I slow my speech and whisper “you smell sooo good. I want to bite your neck … right there.” Wait for a reaction … then in you go and bite. Remember that biting the neck is going to give her that autonomous paralysis that all mammals get (your hair stands on end). Hold a cat by the scruff of the neck and they paralyze. Horses bite the neck while fucking. MANY animals do and this is left over in HUMANS, TOO! Lucky us.
Sisonpyh: if you can keep on smelling. she’ll get so turned on that you won’t believe it! At some point she’ll try to kiss me. which is what I’m waiting for. I will let her lips get close to mine. even touch just a teensy bit. and then I’ll back away. And keep smelling. I might say “Oh, you’re kind of forward” . love it.
Mystery: After a successful kiss close – I do what you do too. This is great.
Sisonpyh: After a few of these, I’ll kiss her. and run my hands through her hair. the whole romantic kiss thing. then, again, I’ll stop. I personally like it when a woman is pleading with me to make love to her. which I can do almost every time (Please don’t take this as bragging, which it surely is. but I’m serious. It’s damn fun.) Then, when it’s over, I don’t call them. And yes, they always call me. Nice. I’m too busy right now to really answer questions, so please don’t dissect this and ask me a million, because you won’t hear from me again for awhile. thanks.
Mystery: This has been (barely) dissected for the benefit of all Cliff’s Readers.