Winter’s coming, and with the cold an extra circumstance that could hamper living our life to the fullest… or not.

Tell me, Hans , is there a difference between how you imagine(d) your life, and how you are actually living it? If so, do you use circumstances to explain away the difference?

I do not want to guilt trip you – no man has ever become a better seducer by putting him to shame – so consider this reminder ammunition for when a friend of yours is complaining about his circumstances.

“-you know, I’ve either had a girl I was seeing, too much work, not enough skills and no confidence … something has always been in the way but now I am single, I saw a couple of YouTube videos, I am free on Saturdays, and I signed up for this course incredible information, great guys on there for the first time in my life I’m going to have the space and the time to seduce.”

no man, if you’re going to seduce you’re going to seduce whether you work 16 hours a day in a coal mine or you’re going to seduce your wife with the 3 children around while you’re on welfare, you’re going to seduce with part of your mind and your body blown away, you’re going to seduce nervous, poor, fat … blind, crippled and demented, you’re going to seduce with some chick dragging away the girl you like and some dude laughing at you while the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment, flood and fire.

man, your circumstances have nothing to do with it and don’t make anything happen except maybe a longer life to find new excuses for.

(Adaptation from Charles Bukowski’s Air and Light)

Everything you believe to be true about the circumstances of your life, about women, about this girl and this situation… is true.

It is all true, and it does not matter.

What matters is how you want your life to look like. What matters is that you choose choice. What matters is that you act anyway.

Remember that you are never held back by your circumstances. What holds you back is that you have chosen to disregard your most compelling reasons to move forward.

What is your light, Hans ? What do you ache for? What is the only thing that matters?


Hans Comyn
Hans Comyn

Hans is the head of the Amorati network and leads the Ars Amorata programs. He joined forces with Zan Perrion in 2008. Before that time, Hans Comyn taught philosophy at several Universities and worked five years with French sociologist Bruno Latour on how to reassemble the social, bring people together and make things public.

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