I was hanging out with Mystery around the time he was developing his model of seduction. In fact, I remember that night because both he and I were crashing at Neil Strauss’ Santa Monica apartment that night… him and I were at a coffee shop hanging out and on the ride back to Neil’s pad, he explained his new model to me… attraction + comfort = seduction. Now prior to this I was best friends with Ross Jeffries and Swinggcat so I could definitely see where seduction played into all this. I was also immersed in the developing PUA subculture – around 2000 being a part of the original Mystery’s Lounge, and I could see how attraction was very tied into PUA “game” and how rapport and seduction were very much tied into comfort and seduction game.
Ross and I eventually went our separate ways although Swinggcat and I continued to hang out and develop our own ideas and to “map out our own territories” of how the game worked for us.
So my understanding of the attraction part of the game comes with that background.
To me, attraction represents an “energy”. This energy is tied in to anything that is new, different, exciting, adventurous, novel, and all that makes your heart race and your breath quicken. When you are in this state, you are fully associated. Being fully associated means you are completely in the moment… either in your body or in emotion.
Contrast that with comfort “energy”. This energy is tied in to all that is familiar, similar, predictable and expected. This energy makes you put up your feet, feel at home, and feel connected. When you are in this state, you feel disassociated from worries, and a sense of connectedness.
Now SEDUCTION is where you have a balance of these two things.
NLP just provides tools to get to both of these states. The best ways to get to these states however is to get there naturally. That’s how I do it. It helps to know the underlying purpose or “energy’ of the stage that your currently in… during an interaction whether it be comfort or attraction. I have been known to use some powerful NLP methods and tools that I’ve developed through field testing and experience. The October Man Sequence is one of those methods that basically is like “seduction game” on steroids.
I use mostly covert methods. Keeping it totally conversational.
Some examples of this are elicitation. I turned Neil on to eliciting – hence his Style’s EV.
But keep in mind that eliciting is like opening up a file cabinet. This means that it can be used during attraction, comfort, and seduction.
For example, everyone has their experience kept in a “file” in their mind for what makes sex amazing. Now what if you could open that file, simply by asking a few key questions… lead a woman’s thoughts and body sensations and ultimately cause her to PUT YOU into her file for amazing sex. That’s what I do. The older, less effective method is running “patterns” where you talk about your own experience or a “friend’s” experience to get them to open up their “internal file” through basically empathy… which most people don’t do well.
The way I do it is more effective because they must go inside and open up their own “internal file” in order to describe their own experience to you.
The way I do this mainly through having someone describe their experience of a certain state. Another way is by having them tell you a story with the underlying state driving it.
Once you can see the states behind stories and themes and what people talk about in general, you can guide their states simply by guiding the conversations… and thus you can guide their states.
It’s like seeing the matrix.
There are many ways to anchor… I haven’t done much of it consciously for awhile now.
Here’s a good example – when a woman talks about a positive state – let’s say like being turned on… notice where she looks, how her hands move, the expression on her face…
Then MATCH it. – that is a very subtle and covert anchor. You are using the person’s OWN external signals to signal them back that you are on the same page.
As far as directing convos, I use a certain way of speaking to a woman and there are many PUA’s out there that have seen me do this… from Swinggcat, to Style (Neil) to Cameron and DJ…
What I do is PULL.
The seduction is a PULL.
When you PUSH someone, you’re doing the typical “routines” that are scripted… the “opinion openers,” the stuff that you do the SAME basically from girl to girl.
But when you PULL, you are drawing THEM out to where you are. The big secret way how to do this…
Be interested in them as a person. Be interesting also. Actively listen to what they tell you and DIRECT the conversation by cutting negative threads and asking questions and eliciting threads that are positive towards the states that you want (like either attraction, comfort, or seductive threads)
It’s the difference between yin and yang, pushing and pulling… I believe that a hot woman basically KNOWS that a guy wants her… that’s the default. What then sets one guy apart from another is his GAME.
GAME recognizes GAME.
One key to having this kind of game is to not let a girl categorize you or let her auto-responses take over. You must be different, more interesting, more interested in her as a person than you are interested in her looks. In fact, women EXPECT to be validated by you on their looks. It’s the only way they know they’re attractive. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and many women need validation from men to support their self images as being attractive. In short, recognize beauty, but don’t let it phase you. I for example may just say, “you look nice” if I’m on a date and a woman puts special effort into putting herself together. But keep your power. The only time I let go and let my desires come out fully is in bed. One key to keeping your power is to realize that it is YOU that gives a woman her validation for whether or not she’s attractive. And just knowing this makes you a challenge in her eyes because you’re not like 99% of all the other guys who would give their left nut just for a smile. I sometimes have trouble believing the world that my LTR lives in. She’ll walk into a store and not have to pay for anything because the guy at the cash register won’t charge her. She gets free cable (for life) because the guy hooking up her cable Internet wants to do something nice for her. She gets hit on by basically every guy she comes into contact with… married, single, old, young… even women for that matter hit on her… And she’s with a guy who never even got her any flowers – until almost a year of being together. So as far as statement of intent goes, it’s pretty much a given that a hot woman would know that you want her… It’s all in how you show your interest. Keeping your desire on the down low, not being phased by her sexuality (some will even try to break you down by being outright sexually suggestive), and treating her like a normal person shows you have game and ups your value in her eyes.