Anonymous: Why did I have to miss out ? I missed out on what everyone else experienced. I am still missing out on what everyone else is experiencing !

It all seems to come down to inner game, and your overall mindset or mentality.

I once heard the story of a contest winner who won a trip on a cruise ship, and yet sat in their cabin alone and hungry because they didn’t understand that the activities and meals were included in the cruise package.

We often miss out because we feel that we aren’t attractive enough. We don’t deserve it. A woman is out of our league. She’ll probably say no. And we have already defeated ourselves before getting out of the starting gate.

In the AFC mindset, some guys are like sexual anorexics. What do I mean by that ? Let’s look at the traditional anorexic:

1. The anorexic woman feels that food is her enemy.

2. However, she needs food to survive.

3. She will force herself to the point of starvation, only to eat as a survival mechanism.

4. Afterwards, her mental guilt will make her vomit out the food.

How does this translate to some AFCs ?

1. The sexually anorexic male feels that women (or sex with women) are his enemy. This may be on a strictly subconscious level.

2. However, he has a sex drive and a heterosexual orientation.

3. He may feel anything from melancholy about his perceived inability to attract a woman to a seething hatred towards women. I heard one guy say that he felt women were made of “unobtanium,” and the woman he said this to mercilessly tore him to shreds (verbally). His mental state starves him socially, yet he blames it on women, and keeps trying for his social / sexual survival. Unfortunately, his attempts are the equivalent of binging: no true appreciation of or savor for what is before him.

4. If he does find a willing partner, he (consciously or subconsciously) does something to kill the opportunity, turn the woman off, or otherwise shoot himself in the foot.

I have had such a mental dichotomy in the past. However, once I learned to get past that, women being naked and willing with me became my reality. When I slip into old patterns because of stress or other mental roadblocks, I have the presence of mind to recognize it and work on recalibrating.

It is not necessarily about using the “magic” patterns, weasel words or methods. Not to nay-say those things: they do indeed work, and quite effectively so. But they will not work if your mind is fighting against your own desires.

What the original post does not mention is what the guy is doing when he attempts to meet women, have a relationship or whatever.

It is like he is pressing his face against the window of a restaurant and wondering why he can’t eat. Other people are eating. So, why not him ?

If you are at that proverbial restaurant, ask yourself:

1. Do I lack finances ?

2. Do I not have a reservation ?

Resolve those issues … get what you need to go inside and feast. However, you can have pockets overflowing with hundreds and plenty of available tables … you still need the determination to go into the restaurant and place your order.

If you are afraid that they are out of what you want, don’t get stuck on it. I’ve experienced that … and with the right level of finesse, I get a free dessert or some other lagniappe from my server in exchange for ordering what is available.

If you approach a set, or a single woman … and if all does not go as you may have it mapped out in your head … just be flexible and see where it might lead.

I often say that I never have expectations. That way, I am never disappointed, and always pleasantly surprised.

 

Anonymous: She gets to feel good around the opposite sex without effort ! She gets to have social fun without any effort ! I have to work hard ! I have to think about this stuff and it still doesn’t work !

She feels good because that is her state of mind. She doesn’t apply effort because she doesn’t see it that way. Granted, it is an effort for her to do her hair, makeup and wardrobe. But does she sit around crying about how hard she works to look good and no men notice her ? Nope !

 

I was at a club where this hot chick was carrying on because the guy she wanted was with another girl. My buddies and I thought about approaching her, but she started fighting the other chick and got physically carried outside and ejected by the bouncers. She stomped to her car crying. At that point nobody wanted her. She may have been hot, but she was a psycho !

Most women go out expecting to capture the attention of the men. Whether or not she is interested in them, it is an ego boost to get a lot of attention. She also wants to stand out above her competition (other women). Still, I have seen women in overalls with no makeup or nice hairdo who attracted every guy in the room. It was because they exuded a mindset that made them shine above all of the “supermodels” in the room.

So, again … it comes down to mentality more than anything. Free your mind, all else will follow.

I remember years ago, I was talking about a successful series of closes on one of the seduction boards. One guy asked if I looked like Brad Pitt. I told him I looked like Bad Shitt. But with the right mentality, you can walk into an establishment alongside Brad, Leo, and Jake and (social proof of being with those guys notwithstanding) rule the roost. But only if your inner game and mental state are right.


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Cliff’s List is a place for men to become more successful. Where you can connect with other men in your community, around the world. Get advice from the world’s experts on seduction, dating and relationships.

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