Today I want to run a bit of a wide range of comments on some different problems that guys face, as presented by more of the world’s greatest pick up artists, seduction coaches, dating experts and ladies men (and women)! Each of these concerns that some of you have deserve its own discussion so please feel free to expand on what is presented here, ask questions, share your views, and help others if you can with your experiences and ideas to overcome these challenges.
And don’t forget that if you decide to buy products or trainings from any of these people who are in the business where you learned about them from Cliff’s List, let them and us know that you bought something from them and for each purchase you make we will send you a unique, free Cliff’s List bonus product in addition.
Marni, Your Wing Girl wrote in:
“The thing is that there is just soooooo much information out there and sometimes it’s tough to figure out what to listen to and what to not listen to. The best thing to do is to take it all in and as you start to apply different POV’s and actions and see what works and what resonates with you. That’s how you can start to figure out your own system so that you don’t need to rely on someone else.”
This is actually a big part of what Cliff’s List is all about. We present to you the wide range of options out there so that you can find the advice and coach that works best for you. Personally, I’ve seen every piece of advice that one coach will say doesn’t work, be promoted by a different coach who will say it does work in their system. Talk about conflicting impulses! So the key is to find the right advice for each person, and that can come in many different forms. For example, I know of two separate schools who effectively teach the same methods. But while one school is the actual originator of the method, the other school has had a lot of success with students who for one reason or another just didn’t “get it” from the originator, but the instruction from the second school connected with them. Same material, different teacher, different result.
Kezia Noble , The Leading female dating coach and attraction expert for men. who holds 1 and 2-day workshops across the globe, opens the discussion on height (which I know many of you are waiting to hear about):
“In my experience, my clients who are on the shorter side (under 5 ft 6) often blame their height for their lack of success with women. They believe that if they were just a few inches taller, they would have an abundance of beautiful women in their lives. You would think that by revealing to them the fact that most of my clients who struggle to attract women are of average to above average height would give them the logical contention to their limiting beliefs, however, it’s not enough to persuade or convince them out of their deeply ingrained negative belief system that fuels the notion that being short is the ultimate reason for their failure to attract women.
When I send my shorter clients infield to speak to women, I tell them to either ignore their height completely and be completely focused on conveying the more positive aspects of their character, whether it be the fact that they are high achievers, or possess wit, or have a remarkably contagious sense of humour, whatever the attributes are, they need to completely overshadow the supposed drawbacks.
“Or I tell them to OWN the feature that they have stubbornly decided to be a drawback, which serves to empower them and release them from the awkwardness of the ‘elephant in the room’ scenario. There are many short-people jokes out there, and by actually sharing them with the girl you are talking to in a playful way, this will make her see you are totally confident in your appearance and have a good sense of humour which will as a result, encourage her to make fun of her own flaws too.”
This comment by Kezia underscores the different nature of some of the problems guys have – some, like height, race, or physical deformity (in most instances), are permanent – you only have the choice of changing your thinking about these “drawbacks.” Issues of confidence, body language, negative thinking, weight, etc. are problems that you can at least change. These not permanent issues can be as hard or harder to deal with than some of the permanent ones.
Chris Manak , a Dating and Lifestyle Coach who runs Manic Workshops, also had comments on the height problem:
“Yes women generally like a guy who is tall, there is no denying that. However EVERYONE has some kind of trait that they are hung up about; no one is ideal, even the women that you’re likely pedestaling. I for one am bald – and I could harp on all day about how women want a man with thick lustrous hair and use that as a perfect excuse to not do anything … OR I can just get on with it, accepting that SOME women absolutely will not want a bald guy, but for MOST, it will be a neutral trait once overshadowed by my personality. When women say they want a tall guy, they are imagining their ideal situation; the same way you may fawn over models and porn-stars – a bit different in reality. Height is NOT the be all and end all. Most woman will prefer a tall man, yes, however will often find themselves “weirdly” attracted to a short guy if he is kicking arse in other areas.”
This comment could do nothing more than stir up an old memory of Doc, a great dating coach who gave seminars for both men and women (who also spoke at both of the Cliff’s List Conventions), and who had massive success in his own dating life (and whose products Cliff’s List will soon be exclusively offering for sale) who himself is not a particularly tall man. However, his presence and the way he carries and conducts himself gave a fascinating experience to one of his sometimes girlfriends. This woman, who had expressed a desire to date tall men (at least 6 feet), in talking with Doc said how she really prefers to date tall men, “like him.” She perceived him to be much taller than he actually was and this could only be due to his personality!
Here’s a comment from an old friend who we haven’t heard from in a long time, David DeAngelo:
“Fear, (in any form) can be a crippling emotion. One of the biggest challenges I hear from men in the dating advice arena is that they are afraid of rejection or afraid to actually go up and talk to a woman. Here are three quick and easy steps you can take the next time you feel fear.
“#1. Take some time to vividly imagine the BEST possible outcome of walking up and talking to a woman that you find attractive. Every time you see a woman that you’d like to meet, just do this. For days. Then realize that this BEST outcome is far more likely than your WORST idea of what could possibly go wrong.
“#2. Make a “realistic” list of the worst things that could happen, then decide exactly what you’d do if any of them actually did happen. You’ll realize that you can deal with them and live through it, and you have a plan of action ahead of time.
“#3. Realize that NOT taking the risk to meet a woman (or to do whatever it is you are afraid of) is actually a BIGGER risk in the LONG RUN of your overall life. If you risk NOT meeting her, you’ll never know what might have happened, and if you let it become a habit, it will keep you from realizing ALL your dreams in life.
“The number one improvement any guy can make, which doesn’t depend on looks, weight, height or any other physical attribute, is to start operating in a target-rich, anonymous environment. A guy with huge physical advantages will score fewer notches in small-town America than a poorly-endowed guy will in New York City.”
David Wygant offered the following remarks:
“Life has many challenges that are all conceived by the mind, If you think women don’t like you then that is exactly what they see. That is why I always make sure students master the first seven seconds. That’s all you need – she is either going to feel something or not. And it’s all about how you say and not what you say.”
David has a product out that you may want to check out about this called the 7 Second Seduction
The problems guys have vary widely. What is your sticking point? What issues have you been unable to overcome? Or, conversely, what issues have you overcome and what was the critical factor that led you to your success? Please don’t hesitate to write me and let me know what you can contribute here that will be valuable to your fellow man. And it’s not only to benefit men – for a man to have success with women, he needs to be pleasing a woman so this is absolutely a “win-win” proposition – good for men and good for women.
I’m waiting to hear from you.