I have a friend who has been dating a girl for some weeks now. Not exclusively, just casually. He met another girl at a party over the weekend and set a date to meet up. The first girl wanted to see him on the exact same date – what to do, what do do?

Okay, I’m going to start by stating it clearly and succinctly: NO. YOU SHOULD NOT LIE TO WOMEN.

I know most of you will react to this and think I’m wrong, but the fact of the matter is, in its best efforts to highlight the (very real) differences in mentality between men and women, the seduction industry has unfortunately dumbed down women into a type of ticking emotional time bomb that needs to be appeased with regular ritual sacrifice lest she lash out.

This is completely and utterly false. Yes, women do think differently, but most of them are damned mature and rational beings. Why? Because while you were playing face-kick and king of the boogers at the playground, she was sitting in a circle talking… And boy did they talk!

Be mature

A mature man knows to get what he wants, to have the guts to ask for it, but at the same time, and this is most important, he has to know that in order to have the cake and eat it too, so can she. Insecure men are those who cheat, because they don’t have the balls to risk losing their women to other men, so they restrict their woman’s freedom and creep out in the dark to chase other women. There is no lesser behaviour in a man.

Keep it simple

So we’ve established that a mature couple grants each other freedom. Now let’s talk about exploiting that freedom. You can’t just say “Hey babe let’s fuck other people!” when you’re 6 months into a relationship and she’s met your parents.

Expectations are set early. This is huuuuge! I don’t get why guys settle for less than what they want and then give themselves a headache about it further down the line. When I meet a woman, I always tell her the same thing “We’re two mature people and I’m going to be completely honest with you: I will never lie to you, I will never intentionally hurt you or play with your emotions, and whatever we do together will always remain between us. However, I am looking for something very specific and until I find it, I reserve the right to do whatever I want and so do you. I value my freedom, but I also value your company. I like you today, I will tomorrow… After that, I can’t promise anything. If you are not okay with that, I totally understand”. Done! It isn’t rocket science. Give the girl some credit… She can handle it.

Now don’t get all jealous when she is seeing other guys. I personally am too busy to give a shit – so should you. I have a don’t ask don’t tell policy. When I’m alone with her, she is the only woman in the world for me. My phone is off and we are together. I expect the same in return. Outside of that, who cares? “Hey babe, wanna hang?” “Ohh I can’t I have dinner plans tonight. Can you do Wednesday?” “Ah enjoy! Check out XYZ Restaurant. It’s got a SICK decor. I’ll let you know for Wednesday”.

Why the headaches and the lies and the games and the nonsense? Cut through the shit and be a man. There’s nothing she’ll find more attractive.


Patrick Ananda
Patrick Ananda

Patrick is a scoundrel, rogue, vagabond and founder of the Centered Man Project. He teaches men how to overcome their social anxiety and fear of rejection, by unleashing their unshakable self-confidence.

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