Recently I was being interviewed by a student for his Psychology assignment in University, and I was asked the question: “If you could only pick ONE thing, what do you think is man’s biggest issue when being successfully attractive and stimulating to women?”
My answer…”doing too much.”
Within this answer comes the issues of neediness, attachment, not feeling worthy, etc. Why else would you feel the need to try?
The very essence of trying, and going outside your own natural state to achieve the affection or gain of another thing or person, basically states that you do not feel worthy or impressive enough for the desired outcome. So therefore you must exert energy to make up the difference, to the point where you can convince the person of just how worthy you are…via hard work.
I teach seduction in a holistic and spiritual sense, rather than a mechanical one.
Having trust in the natural process that women are attracted to men and vice versa takes a lot of the pressure off. The women you desire feeling attraction and arousal towards you is a completely natural occurrence where you simply have no say in the matter. The issue today…is that men all around the world have convinced themselves that they must do a range of things and stuff in order for this natural occurrence to…erm…well….occur? Stupid, right?
Basically, if you are not successful with women, it’s simple…you are getting in your own way. By doing.
Doing nothing, and achieving all the results is an art form in itself, that evolves from internal awareness and presence. The Chinese call this natural balance “Wu Wei” – which translates as the action of non-action.
Let me paint a practical picture of this in seductive action, which happens in every aspect of my life where I choose to apply it.
Last night I was at a friend’s house party. We were all sitting around in the living area on couches. There was a beautiful girl in the circle, and about 6 guys along with some of her friends engaged in conversation.
Every guy had miraculously changed his level of energy and personality when engaging with the particularly desirable girl. Going out of their way to be funny and make her giggle (which makes them assume they get extra sex points), along with seeming patronizingly interested in her dad’s car issues; laughing and smiling at every facet of her verbal’s. They were all doing…A LOT…in order to achieve results.
Pan the camera to me, and even though I desire this woman and she is making my testicles tingle and my heart explode, I am aware that “doing” is futile, and an utter waste of energy. I remain within myself. I do not change what I find entertaining or funny simply because an attractive woman is saying it.
I wanted her…every last piece of her…I fell in love with her in seconds…and I internalized it. I allowed myself full permission to bask in all these feelings, internally. Why externalize this? Unless I wanted to battle these other guys for her attention and affection. I don’t even know her so let’s wait for her to say something which resonates or strikes a chord in me.
So visually, every guy in the room is moving, being loud, laughing, joking, and doing everything they can to seem impressive enough to impress her.
Me…I am impressive without her. I am impressive without anybody, naturally, and so are you, which is why acting so is paradoxically stupid and again, wasting your energy.
I was calmly sprawled out taking up my space on the sofa, making strong, sexual, and comfortable eye contact with her, not reacting like the other over-eager predators in the room.
She said something I really liked, and kind of stopped the other guys in their tracks. It was deep, well, deeper than what the conversational structure had been.
We had been communicating non verbally the whole time, and she was on the same mind-frame as me. I stood up, and I took her hand without saying anything, and led her out of the center of the group, outside so we were on our own…the rest, naturally, is history.
Become aware of how your personality or energy output changes depending on the people you are interacting with…then, stop this, and bring your awareness back home, back to your body, in that moment. Become aware of the soles of your feet placed firmly on the ground.
Be still…Lock eyes…
Your meditation is now!
– Chris Bale