Let’s get the obvious issue out of the way first.
This is NOT going to be some Pollyannaish essay about how you need to have a fat bank account in order to expect to have a great girlfriend.
I say that up front because every time I bring up the word “provider” in the context of attracting women, there’s going to be SOMEONE out there who automatically assumes my point is going to be either:
1) Some reiteration of the weird, old PUA meme that “9s and 10s are reserved for millionaires and rock stars”, or…
2) If you want to attract a woman, you’ve got to give her a bunch of expensive gifts, a Signature Visa with her name on it and/or anything and everything else she ever wants (demands?) of you.
Nope, that’s not what this is about.
In fact, I’m here today to help rid you of BOTH of those ridiculous thoughts, and to make sure then never creep into your cranium ever again.
So what, then, is this whole notion of being a “provider” all about? And more importantly, how does it relate to creating sexual attraction in women?
Well, first we can address the objective side of things.
No, you don’t have to be a millionaire. And no, you don’t have to lavish women with extravagance.
In fact, I’d argue that if you DO have considerable personal wealth and indeed flaunt it with women, you shouldn’t be surprised when you attract mostly self-absorbed “golddiggers”.
After all, you’ll have been asking for it. That’s leadership. You opened the door and women are simply walking through it.
However, no matter WHO you are as a man, a woman has to know that you’ve at least got the solid potential for being able to have a PLAN and get things HANDLED.
It’s YOU who has to take responsibility for making sure that your well-being AND hers (as well as anyone else who may join any future family you create together) is safe, warm, comfortable and well-fed.
So yes, “provision” is tied very closely that other bastion of female excitement, “protection”.
As a man, your mission is essentially to free women up from WORRY, FEAR, STRESS and CHAOS.
By virtue of your masculine power, you take on any threat—real or perceived—and you either dismantle it or battle it head-on.
Fortunately for all of us, in the 21st century that usually means we do things like make sure the doors are locked at night and the garage door is closed. We don’t often have rival tribes of cavemen attempting to beat us into submission.
Now, let me be clear. It’s not at all that a high quality woman CAN’T free her own self up from worry, fear, stress and chaos. It’s just that she gets physically turned on when YOU do it instead.
Yes, women have their own careers nowadays and all that. They may not NEED you to “provide”, at least in the sense that most usually think of first.
But if you want her respect, admiration and especially her sexual attention you’d darned skippy better be able to hold your own.
No, you need not be rich. Believe it or not, most women would really rather live a normal, comfortable life than anything else.
It’s just that she must never feel as if she’s got to support you. That’s going to feel masculine to her if that’s the case, and she’s therefore NOT going to be horny for you.
You may have noticed that I allowed for the “potential” to be a provider earlier. By that I meant that if you’re young and still in college and/or are on the verge of success, that’s typically enough for any decent woman.
It’s sort of like how you can tell if a woman would be a good mother or not, even if she hasn’t made any babies with you yet.
The bottom line is that a woman simply needs to see that you know how to be proactive and responsible.
Importantly, independence and self-reliance is key. You must not be seen as a man who must be cared for by SOMEONE else.
That means if you are 37 years old and still need your mommy to cook you breakfast and do your laundry, that’s going to be an attraction killer.
And worse, the more you argue with me about how “unfair” that is or how you’re “trapped” in such a situation, the more you’re proving my point.
It is what it is.
You aren’t turned on by negative, whiny women who lack joy…no matter how much they bitch about that.
Well, women aren’t turned on by men who show no signs of being able to provide or protect…no matter how much you complain that it’s “not your fault”.
A provider NEVER, EVER considers himself a victim, and he NEVER, EVER resorts to blaming others for his circumstances.
I’d be remiss if I left this whole conversation at that, however.
Rather than simply giving you a pep-talk, I’d love for you to actually be ENERGIZED and flat-out PSYCHED to be a provider after having read this.
After all, as a man it should be perfectly natural for you to WANT this challenge and rise to it.
So consider this. To be a true provider is really to be a ninja, wizard and general badass all rolled into one.
The provider is the guy who has the solution where others can only seem to see problems.
Everyone LOVES a problem solver. After all, he’s the diametric OPPOSITE of a whiny, complaining victim.
Moreover, the most amazing type of provider thinks WAY beyond material needs and physical security.
“Provision” can mean you use your charismatic charm, optimism and confidence to foment a better emotional environment for all around you.
It can also involve you creating opportunities for the woman in your life and others you love that may have not been there otherwise.
For example, if the woman in your life has always dreamed of world travel but was reticent to take off and go backpacking by herself, your leadership and protection might be what it takes to make that dream a reality.
If she has always wanted to go back to college and finish those last two classes she needed for a degree, your encouragement and belief in her might be the fuel that she needs to “just do it”.
Make no mistake about it. A man who is a master provider is nobody’s doormat. He’s no “walking ATM machine” to be taken advantage of.
Like a “playmaker” in professional sports, he’s the most respected man on the field of play.
Why? He’s a CREATOR.
He provides all the building blocks to success, in every aspect. In doing so he makes everyone around him a better player.