What ‘pick-up’ coaches don’t tell you
Similar to improving your life with women, there is a consistent and steady growth occurring when one decides to take on the responsibility of being a coach for others.
Like you, men arrive to my website on a daily basis, reading my many informational and educational articles based on seduction. Add on my YouTube videos to that, along with many more written columns and books.
My general business, is to advertise NOT techniques or structure, but simply to share myself with you. I cannot teach you anything other than what I have experienced, and I stand true to this.
I receive disgruntled emails from men who have basically been robbed by other very mainstream and financially successful dating companies ALL the time, looking for one last piece of help.
Help. They want help.
Why are you here? Help?
Do you want freedom?
Do you want happiness?
Do you want self reliance and internal trust in yourself as a man?
Or do you want to bang lots of 10s?
This is the biggest issue in our society with how we are designed to be in this world.
We have a feeling of lacking in a certain area, which we grip to. THEN, we make the most fatal mistake which actually halts our own self growth…we look for someone else to save us.
I want to be VERY clear, right now…I CANNOT SAVE YOU FROM HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL!
The dirty little secret is, I wouldn’t want to save you and I am eternally grateful that nobody saved me. I do not for one second have the desire to offer you a quick fix or an overnight life change, because it simply does not exist. Plus the belief comes with consequences.
Taking the red pill for overnight success, which so many dating coaches and life coaches offer is the fast food of self improvement. It will feel amazing at first, similar to eating a 2 day daygame bootcamp, approaching 100 women in 12 hours, but what are you left with? Adrenaline, which is the plaster that you have placed over everything you are attempting to avoid within yourself. This is basically how all these money rackets sell tickets, so to speak. Unrealistic and glittery promises. Deep, huh?
The fact that you are sitting at home on a Friday night masturbating and eating Cheetos is NOT because you are bad with women. It’s because you are bad with YOURSELF.
The fact you think you have “approach anxiety ” is not why you are depressed.
Men contact me everyday looking for coaching, so they can get laid. That is totally fine, sex is awesome, and women are amazing, but most commonly, it is only the tip of the iceberg.
We have an initial chat via Skype, to see if it is someone who is dedicated to huge change AND willing to put in the work. If I feel we can work together, we confirm dates, and I commit to guiding him. NOT training him. NOT coaching him.
Guiding him. But he is doing the walking.
It is my job to burst the bubble of innocence in many ways. It IS hard to face your fears, to come up against your deepest insecurities, to deal with everyone in your life judging you for stepping out of the matrix. It is fucking difficult. That’s why there are very few true successful men in this world. Any man who is living by his own rules, has went through all the above. It is almost like a re-birth which you are learning, by dealing with the world attempting to put you back in your box.
True and profound strength is built through those most difficult and challenging emotional experiences, where you must make a decisive decision to honour yourself and step up…not getting some blonde chick’s phone number after 15 “approaches” – this is where the little boys play. The playground of validation. A man who risks it all to stand for what he believes in, feels no need to prove himself to anyone, is exactly that, a man.
I do not believe in self development. Only self destruction. I do not mean that in a violent sense.
Rather than having lots of confused and indecisive issues about who you are and your role on this planet, then trying to add on pick up techniques which you assume will grant you happiness, instead look at why you are not already happy.
Is this REALLY about girls? Seriously. Look at the rest of your life, which is a direct manifestation of how you feel about yourself and what you GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to have/be.
Ask yourself, and answer yourself honestly, or please get the fuck off this page and go back to not taking responsibility. I do not tolerate half-assedness anymore. Once you are willing to face your shit and give full commitment, then I am your biggest fan. Otherwise, stay a part of the weak and dying breed who clock in and out of life.
If you are afraid, accept it as a normal reaction, be afraid, own it, but push through regardless. Make the mistakes. Make the re-calibration, based on your mistakes. Then succeed.
If you need to cry, then cry, scream, punch pillows if need be.
I give you full permission to feel however you have been feeling, because I was there, and I was so deep in it, I couldn’t see the light.
If you need to, give yourself full permission to be as emotional as you need to be, alone. You must learn to hold your own hand and support yourself. Do not bring your emotional instability around women. It is your responsibility to deal with it as much as you can on your own. The strength and self love it creates is immense.
Learn to stabilize yourself. Then, once you have dealt with it, you can share your experience with her from a grounded place.
You, and ONLY you, can emotionally purge yourself. You need not be cradled like a baby, as this is not cleansing. Feel your emotions, and let them loose. Purge and rid yourself of this. You will be building an amazing man of strength combined with a grounded vulnerability. I cannot count the amount of times in my journey where I have stood in front of a mirror and cried…HARD. Looking myself in the eye and really being there with myself. Learning to realize there is nothing wrong with me, these feelings of frustration or sadness is simply a feeling which is trapped. Let it out, and be relieved. You will feel amazingly re-connected to yourself after.
Crying is socially judged, especially if you are male. But please do not under-estimate the true power of this.
With that being said…
When the man arrives to go through coaching, we chat, usually very briefly about girls. Then the REAL issues come to light, and it stops being about women pretty much immediately. A mountainous purging of damaged volcanic emotion begins to seep from his presence, vibe, body language…everything.
This…is awesome. I feel my best quality when dealing with a man who comes for guidance is to see through all the lies he is telling himself, as I can recognize them from being within me before.
I have a very strong ability to reach in, grab every single one of his insecurities/ issues, drag it out, and dump it all in his lap for him to look at, and with my guidance and loving support, deal with.
You are not ‘bad’ with women, you are bad with yourself!
The easiest and lightest part of the training program, is when all the internal issues have been introduced to him, by him, and we are in the practical aspect of talking to beautiful women. That is the easy part. It’s effortless, and it flows, with zero importance placed on any outcome. The hardest and most confronting parts have already been dealt with.
You job is not to fall in love with a woman. You are a man, your love for the feminine exists in there, and if you do not feel it currently, then you must begin to sort through the rubble, clearing the crash site.
YOUR JOB IS TO FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF! Think about how couples do this? Through chaos in many instances. They have both went through very tough times but have striven through it and supported one another, forming bonds of magnificent strength and respect.
Now take your hand, and bring yourself through your storm. You will emerge a warrior.
A warrior that need not learn any pick up techniques…because he is too busy living a loving life on his terms, outside of the matrix of society. Pick up does not even exist.
Let the little boys play. Mummy will be calling them in for dinner soon.