Today we have comments from the old and the new. The “old” is the infamous Bishop, whose Bishop’s Journal was a major classic of the earlier years of the seduction community. Bishop’s adventures, filled with descriptions of some truly excellent game, used to enthrall me and I eagerly waited for the next instalment in his journey meeting and seducing women. The “new” is Patrick Armen of Centered Man Project, a special Cliff’s List Partner, who has worked very hard on improving himself, pushing himself to get comfortable and skilled in dealing with attractive women wherever he would encounter them. Now living in Amsterdam, I was fortunate to see his evolution of the last several years that he was here in Montreal.
Michael “Bishop”: Excellent topic, Cliff!
First of all, my advice begins by saying to those of us over 40 who are depressed is…stop! While we may look older, and we may have more difficulty getting that belly fat burned off than we used to; the fact is we are in a very powerful place, regarding women. I have noticed that more women today seem to seek maturity than when I was in my 20’s & 30’s. That is to say, the women I typically meet (from mid-20’s to mid-30’s) seem more drawn to someone who is genuinely knowledgeable and mature. They meet lots of guys who try to come off as knowledgeable, but they can usually spot the difference between a guy sharing knowledge and a guy trying to impress them with knowledge.
The internet, and the fact that it is now such an important part of our lives, has actually made meeting and attracting women easier for us older guys! When I was in the beginnings of seduction success, in the late 1990’s, there was no Skype, no Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram, no YouTube, and no smartphones. With all of these creations came a paradigm shift, I feel. It used to be that women had a “type” and you had to compete against that..and it rarely, if ever, was a type that included being over 40! Now with the internet and all of those creations I mentioned, women are seeing that those “young and hot guys” being total douchebags, or too immature, or some other turn off. They are also seeing that the guys who are touching them in the way that they enjoy, are older. The reason they are touched more deeply by us, than with the younger guys, is because we have the knowledge and the maturity and they can see us embodying these things before they even meet us! Now more than ever, we get to separate ourselves from the pack in a very positive and productive way!
One thing that does seem to be very key to all of this though is we older guys need to be outdoors a lot, and in good/great physical shape. I have attracted more women simply by posting pics of me climbing rocks than posting some poem I wrote! I am just guessing but I think it’s because an outdoorsy older man implies sexual vitality…kind of like how dancing implies a man is good in bed…and since guys over 40 are already seen as having good bedroom knowledge, adding sexual vitality just makes us even more attractive! But as I said, you have to be in at least good shape. While there are women who do love overweight men, you owe it to your own health and esteem to be in shape! Plus, it’s been proven that being in shape increases libido, stamina, and endurance. Of course, being happy and confident (without treating a woman like she’s dumber than you). There are so many guys over 40 who lack outdoors skills, are overweight, lack confidence, and talk down to younger women like the women are inferior. So to be in shape, enjoying the outdoors, being confident, and talking to younger women like an equal, you are the exception to the typical. Granted, there are little details that will greatly enhance your chances but an over 40 guy will do fine with just what I’ve shared.
Not to turn this into a self-serving plug, but I also wrote a book on how to maintain a relationship once you get a quality women. It’s called “The 7 Most Important Things to a Woman in a Relationship” . If anyone buys a copy, and sends me a copy of their purchase receipt, I will show my appreciation by allowing them to ask me an unlimited amount of questions for how they can improve their chances with women. FREE, No cost! Ask a hundred questions today, a hundred more tomorrow, and a thousand more in the next year, and I will still answer every single one of them. We are in this together, so we should help each other.
Be well and Live Unleashed!
Patrick Armen : The looks discussion has been raging for years now and it seems there have been very few breaths of fresh air to take it to new dimensions. It seems to be constantly stuck in between the paradigms of ‘Yes, looks matter, I know this guy…’ and the ‘no, they don’t matter. I know this guy…’ ad nauseum.
I think people aren’t very rational about the issue. I know a guy who’s been in the community for over 7 years and has progressed about 0%. Why? because his mindset is lazy. “You don’t like clubs? Don’t go to clubs” or “dressing nice is douchy” or “I hate going to the gym.” As his peers gradually surpassed him, he would always make petty rationalizations: “Oh it’s because he is good looking” or “he is in shape so obviously women like him.” Meanwhile he is in no way progressing.
Who said you can’t have both? If looks are THAT big of an issue, do the basics: Get your teeth whitened, look up a nice haircut (think Justin Timberlake 2014, not weird peacock crap) and ask your barber to do it for you. Look up nice clothes and get a girlfriend to shop with you (again, none of that peacock crap. Get attention for a finely tailored suit, not a stupid fuzzy hat). Hit the gym hard. Programs like Insanity or P90x will get you in shape in 2-3 months. There is literally no excuse not to get started! Just getting these basic things done are enough to get you well on your way to being handsome.
Now on the other hand, don’t let any of this be an excuse not to go out and talk to women. We’ve all seen ugly men with stunning women. Most people will complain and rationalize “Oh that’s the exception” (remember the guy I talked about above), but that mindset won’t get you any closer. To me it’s simple: Ifone man was able to pull it off… Why not me?
I think the looks issue at a deeper level is just about entitlement. Those good looking guys feel like they deserve the hottest women because of their looks. As a result they are magnetic. It is definitely possible to be magnetic without the looks. I mean, what is a good looking guy anyway? I do this for all my clients: Google that famous picture of Daniel Craig coming out of the water in Casino Royal, then zoom in on his face. Doesn’t he kind of look like Golem from Lord of the Rings? Do the same for Ryan Gosling’s face. Totally not symmetrical. One of my girlfriends said something I’ll always remember: “You’re a guy… Simply believe you’re hot and you’ll be hot!”
Clifford: I don’t have a lot to add to these comments – Ross Jeffries had once said it best when he pointed out that you never know what is a woman’s type so you should always just go for it.
While I don’t think we’ve heard the last of the looks debate, there are definitely some common themes among the advice that is being given out. Firstly, make the most of what you have and that includes improving your appearance by being well groomed, well dressed, and dieting and exercising to get your body in shape. Secondly, your attitude will be the most important element in bringing you success with women and in life – this is, in my opinion, the most difficult part because it’s one thing to know that you need to be positive and upbeat and quite another to actually be that way when you don’t feel it for one reason or another. In fact, I’d like to hear comments about how to change your attitude when nothing you seem to be able to do to try and change your attitude is working.
See you next time!