I met a girl a few months back.

A beautiful, feminine, headstrong beauty, with intense amounts of vivacious sexual energy which is also transferred across to her interesting life. She is driven, ambitious, confident, independent, filled with a guiding purpose, and holds her own very easily…and to me, she is a sweet, sexy sweetheart of a girl.

I travel with my job, and live a life where I am of no fixed abode for the majority of the year. She lives in her home country, and finds it incredibly difficult to meet men who can, in her own words, keep her “interested.”

Now that you have the back-story…I am going to share with you messages she sent me over whatsapp. They are hugely educational, so please take note. This is coming DIRECTLY from a woman’s mouth.

These messages came after a story she shared with me. After hooking up with a guy from her gym, who was hot, she received a text message after she returned home the next morning. It was him, asking her in a very shy way, “so was the sex any good? did you like it?” – This resulted in her freaking out and screaming inside, another boy.

She informed me the sex was not good, he was a very selfish lover, like most guys I hear about from my female friends, he only looked after himself.

The messages read:

“The thing is: First of all, these guys are extremely selfish. They like talking about themselves and yes I know I am a good listener but the subjects are not that interesting. And they don’t have enough of their male charisma. And, they get nervous around me and it shows. I am so pissed that I met you…Cuz you bring out a really happy (her name) who just enjoys every moment spent with you. The other guys, it’s like I can be fine having a coffee with them once a week. But somehow I enjoy myself better being home by myself alone.

And if I have a movie night with them, they wanna hook up. And I am not interested in having random bad sex when I know they will be selfish in bed and I don’t get anything from that. It’s a waste of time.

And also I don’t wanna have sex with them just to have sex. I mean there has to be some sort of connection in order for me to fully enjoy it.

They don’t act like a man, they act like boys. I already have a little brother, I don’t need another one.”


The reason I am sharing this with you is because it’s directly from the mind of a disheartened and unfulfilled woman. Our job as men is to remedy this through deep understanding of what women REALLY desire, not what we have been told to believe by society.

If you think you may fall into any of the above brackets, then awesome. You have something to work on which will generate happiness and love in women everywhere.

Let’s look at a few ways to handle the above situation from the guy’s point of view.

1: The thing is: First of all, these guys are extremely selfish. They like talking about themselves and yes I know I am a good listener but the subjects are not that interesting.

This is such a common issue. Most men are taught by Pick up coaches to Demonstrate Higher Value aka DHV, with lots of fake canned, pre-rehearsed stories and routines.

Each of our lives has some element of routine. It does not matter how “free” you are. There is still a certain structure which you have designed and live by.

With that being said…the reason I dislike routines is because, usually, the routine is pre-rehearsed and in many cases fake, with the main desire being to look awesome or impress the girl. Combined with endlessly talking about yourself (not sexy), this should be avoided at all costs.

When someone asks you “What do you do for a living?” – You most likely have a common answer you give, which is true. When someone asks, what are your hobbies…you know what they are, and you express them. The difference between this and canned routines, is that you express your real self and your REAL stories relatively similar every time, but in some cases with the use of different words. It’s more organic, natural, and free-flowing.

You do not need to learn routines. You live in a never-ending interesting story aka “routine,” which you can share over and over again.

If your lifestyle is boring and uninteresting which the girl stated in her text message…then focus on improving that first. Strive to lead an interesting and passionate life. THIS will attract truly quality women!

2: “They don’t have enough of their male charisma”

In my opinion, charisma comes from living a life of authenticity, honesty, and passion. When you decide to own yourself, flaws and all, you begin to express yourself in a beautifully open and vulnerable way. This is the true definition of internal strength and confidence. You begin to trust yourself and fall in love with yourself.

The results of this manifests in a way which allows one to move through life with a light playful ease.

Find out what you love to do, and do it, lots! Charisma is an infectious presence which captivates people as soon as you enter a room. It is not achieved through superficial body language, but instead comes from a deep down satisfaction with who you are as a man. You are fucking awesome, whether you like it or not. Accept it. Let it flow.

3: “They get nervous around me and it shows”

I stand by the realization that the most beautiful women are the loneliest. Their average and above average friends get approached and hit on by men much more frequently. Why? Because they are far less intimidating to the majority of men.

I saw a drop dead gorgeous girl, alone at a bar last week. All her friends had guys talking to them. I see this EVERY night I go out, it’s disturbing. I walked over and asked in disbelief, “Why is nobody hitting on you?” – She lit up!

The FIRST thing a beautiful woman wants is a guy who is not acting strange around her like a fidgety cat. A man who can be relaxed, hold eye contact, and ask her about herself, beyond her superficial looks.

When you are nervous around a woman, it is hideous to her. I’m not here to sugar coat it, it’s the truth in most cases. Sure she may chat with you and entertain you because she is a nice person and craves some male attention, but I can assure you, it is very unattractive.

The ONLY reason you are nervous around a woman is because you are taking the whole process way too seriously, and looking to take from her, rather than give.

Practice making and holding eye contact with very beautiful women as you go about your day. Once it becomes comfortable, start conversations, even asking for directions or the time. Immerse yourself in always stopping and starting conversations with them, and your life will begin to change very quickly. She wants to talk to YOU…not the weird jittery version of you.

4: “I am not interested in having random bad sex when I know they will be selfish in bed and I don’t get anything from that. It’s a waste of time.”

Not much I can say on this matter that I have not already wrote about previously in great detail. Basically, stop being so damn selfish. Look after her FIRST in EVERY case. This will reframe your idea of sex. It’s not about you rubbing your genitals off on her until you ejaculate.

Google can help you with your techniques immensely.

If you want to be with high quality and evolved women, you must get there first.

Aim to please the women in your life, and assure that you deliver what you already have inside you, innately, with great power.

Please, do not become another statistic.

Become your best self, NOW!

Chris Bale

Chris Bale
Chris Bale

Chris has years of experience in many modalities of self development. He specializes in seduction/dating, lifestyle design, sexual polarity, meditation/spirituality, and also works as an energy-work practitioner (sexual energy) & medical qigong/ acupuncture practitioner , for both men AND women – reconnecting you to your sexual power and internal confidence on an intense foundational level, which is the most important; “otherwise you are simply polishing a turd”.

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