Let me start off this short collection of comments in this newsletter with a comment on Sharon Stone.
Sharon Stone (the actress from Basic Instinct) recently made the news by posing nude for Harper’s Bazaar at age 57. Here’s a quote:
If there’s one area of Stone’s life where she still sees lots of room for improvement, it’s her love life. “I never get asked out,” she laments. “It’s so stupid. I don’t know what to do.” Lately, she says, “I’ve been getting more brazen with flirting, but I don’t think men realize that I’m flirting. They just think, Oh, she’s fun!” She turns to her longtime assistant and asks, “Do you think people even realize I’m straight? I think they have questions about it because I have so many lesbian friends right now.”
As we wrap up the interview and she prepares to slip out of her bathrobe, Stone smiles slyly, picks up my tape recorder, and holds it to her mouth, enunciating slowly into the microphone. “If there’s anybody out there who’s an adult and who would like to ask me out,” she says, “please call Harper’s Bazaar.”
Now I think any guy reading this looking at her photos (she could probably pass for mid 30’s and definitely still is an attractive woman) will find it hard to believe that she doesn’t get asked out.
Frankly, I don’t believe it, but I think I know what she really means. I think that what she really means is that she doesn’t get asked out by the guys she is interested in. This is a fundamental problem for guys – if you aren’t a hunk (and/or have “the goods” as discussed below), what can you do to overcome this shortcoming? The reality is probably that she has plenty of offers that she doesn’t want to take, which, as I somewhat discuss below, is probably a sign that she isn’t ready even at her age to open up to an average guy and keeps wanting to find Mr. Right who looks like Mr. Right right from the start. I know that personality and charm can overcome a lack of looks, fame or money, but not everyone who lacks “the goods” has the personality and charm either. Which only means that you can be ugly, broke, unknown and also boring and repelling as reasons you aren’t getting laid.
Luke: Peter’s sister’s name is Cara and her 23rd birthday was on Monday. Anyway, I said the stupidest thing last night lol. Today I have a test over at this hardware store. So last night Peter’s family and I were all sitting down in the living room watching tv and Peter said “Luke, you’re going to a testing tomorrow, right?” “Yeah, at 2 o clock.” Then Cara said “Testing? What testing?” I looked at her and this slipped out of my mouth lol “Testing for aids” hahaha I felt like such an idiot.
Anyway, before that happened I was over there and it was just Cara, her sister Brittany, and I. I was trying some openers and they just stayed quiet mostly. Cara and I tease each other from time to time. At one point Cara looked at Brittany and said “Is Luke our new brother?” Since I’m at his house most of the time. I was at Peter’s house with his sisters almost the whole day.
1. Should I go over to his house again today or should I wait a few days? Cara goes back home on Sunday.
2. How do I open Cara and possibly Brittany at the same time if both of them are laying down on the couch with their phones? How do I open Cara if she is just by herself on her phone? I tried this one “You must be some bored lying down all day on your phone?” She gave me a half assed response like “Yep.”
3. One point she was trying to sleep on the couch and I kept calling her like I was talking to a dog. “Cara.. Caraaaa” Then she said “Luke I swear to God” then I took a pillow and hit her over the head a few times to try and get her to talk lol. So. How do I turn this around? I’m having trouble trying to sit down and have a conversation.
Clifford: Hitting her over the head with the pillow was a very good move. Your problem right now is you need to turn this into a more physical / intimate situation. I don’t think you need to get her into a conversation – what you need is to get her stimulated / excited. This is often best done with very little talk, but it depends on the girl. It’s a little hard for me to suggest much not knowing either you or her, but there are a lot of ideas out there. Things that have worked for me in the past include how once I was at a party and I asked this girl for her opinion on my underwear. I pulled her into a room next to the party room, pulled down my pants, showed her the underwear, and then pulled the pants back up and we went back to the party. She followed me around for most of the night after that and later on I told her to come with me and took her into the laundry room and banged her. The point being that you need to push her buttons in some way, but in a way that is fun yet still adult and not like she’s the big, older sister and you are her kid brother’s friend. Talking about her being bored on the phone is not the way to do that, though. Getting physical, like the pillow fighting, is more on the right track. At some point you could say to her “let’s get out of here” and leave – just the two of you. If she comes along, you need to get her alone and move in on her smoothly. Look her in the eyes thinking to yourself that you are in control here, that she’s just a little girl and that she wants you. Touch her arm, her elbow, shoulder, basically start escalating with your touch and then start breaking the barrier between you by maybe looking strangely at her hair and then take some in your hand and smell it. Smell her hair in order to move in closer to her, touch her scalp while you do this, talk softly right into her hear (nuzzling her ear with your lips won’t hurt) and just slowly but calmly get closer and closer to her. You want to also do some teasing – like move in as if you are going to kiss her and then back off.
You just need to be pushing her buttons, and this will depend on a lot of factors that I can’t know without being there but I think you should get a bit of an idea from the above. Don’t wait, btw, go over asap as she’s only in town for a few days.
Doug: I got personal contact information in less than 20 seconds over the weekend! I think that may be a new record that will never be broken!
At “The Blues Festival” on Saturday afternoon I was sitting on a bench at a main venue crossroads listening and watching a guy expertly play amplified blues electric slide guitar, on a Cigar Box Guitar.
A girl stops and watches for a moment, says a few things to the guy close in as he’s playing. She then steps back and is watching and listening to him play.
I get up from the bench and I get close in to her ear because this guy is loud. I then tell her that I’m already collecting parts and will soon be starting to make Cigar Box guitars. I have seen where Cigar Box Purses have sold out on line as I was searching about guitars made from cigar boxes, Would you like me to make you one? They go for around 30 bucks.
She then half turns and brushes her breast and bare left shoulder against my bare arm and says enthusiastically, “Of Course.” I then say,”When it’s finished, how am I supposed to get it to you?” She digs into her purse and passes me a very heavy weight business card with her picture on it. I then tell her Oh! you’re very photogenic. She was wearing over sized sunglasses so I could not see all of her face. I had my camera hanging around my neck. As she turns to leave she says “Email me, Baby.” “I will,” I shout back as she walks away.
She is a professional who owns a marketing company. I was wearing shorts, runners, and a T-Shirt.
Clifford: While I don’t want to burst your bubble, the fastest number close I have ever seen was much faster and direct than yours. I used to be friendly with this guy here and we were walking down the street and there were a few girls walking almost besides us going in the same direction. The guy basically looks at her and says “Hey, give me your number” and she enters her number in his cell phone. Believe me, she was very attractive – I was shocked but he acted like it was normal. (And it was a good number – he called her in front of me later in the day and made plans with her.)
Now, I know I will get a lot of flack from guys saying it was his looks and in this case I would say it’s true – this guy is a very good looking guy, super confident, very knowledgeable about game, successful, intelligent, etc. So, yes, it probably was 100% his looks (well maybe a little
his confident demeanor, but probably of less bearing on this situation) but meanwhile that was the fastest number close I have ever seen personally.
I think yours is great, but I would have to reserve judgement until you confirm that you had some genuine results with this girl. While I believe women are not stupid and she knows what was going on, I’d want to hear that you converted what you talked to into a personal encounter that goes beyond cigar boxes and photography. And, actually, I’d like to hear that when you got in touch with her (by email?) how she responded. If she was thinking cigar boxes and photography, then your contact info close was not really personal – although I have no doubt you would have been able to change that afterwards, it does suggest that when she gave you the contact information it wasn’t for personal reasons.
Karl: I agree that women respond to personality – but a guy needs looks or something (money, status) for her to give him any of her time for the personality to work….
Why would an attractive women want a guy she has no attraction too? Women today are very picky and they choose who they what and where if they are bored or due to their being picky. Can a guy change that? Yeah but he needs looks or money or status first….
Sure I have seen “personality work” – but only if the guy has the goods. For average, normal guys it makes no difference
I have been in this community for a long time and have never seen – I mean never seen say a 5’4″ balding guy romance a tall attractive blonde or attractive woman period due to his personality – now I have seen taller better looking guys tell some jokes and romance attractive women – because he has the goods to start with…so yes, personality works in those cases…
Why would she in the first place? They want the best they can get, right, so guys like that no matter what game is taught are out of luck – and the “Gurus” take advantage of that by selling snake oil (well most do).
Clifford: The problem you have is that you are looking at women the way we men look at women. They just don’t work the same as us. That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of them who go for looks, money, fame, etc. but it’s not the only way. I could spend a few hours giving you examples, many of which I have already written out in comments to previous comments like yours, but I have personally seen and continue to see guys with little going for them other than their personalities do exceptionally well with women. I think that when we say “personality” we have to include some measure of confidence (and some experience helps, too).
I think the point I am trying to make the most is that just because someone doesn’t have “the goods,” doesn’t mean they should give up. They can succeed with super attractive women – definitely not all of them, but even guys with the goods won’t succeed with every woman.
Yes, they may have a higher success ratio, but it doesn’t mean an average guy can’t win. A simple analogy is how people respond to dogs – the ugliest dog can win most women’s hearts. Nobody and nothing can love you like a dog, and this shows you how looks are not
the only thing that will get results.
Another thing that you may not realize is that when a woman is young, she will be attracted to guys with “the goods.” But what you can go out and confirm is that a lot of hot women will date tons of good looking guys and typically get fucked over by a lot of them. After several years of this, guys’ looks become a blur and really mean nothing. In fact, I am sure you have heard some women claim (which you probably didn’t believe when you heard or read it) that they refuse to go out with very good looking guys because they have had a lot of bad experiences with them.
As I said in a recent newsletter, it’s like Ross Jeffries say – you never know what type a woman will go for, so you should always go for it. And that is completely true.
I keep hearing from guys who think looks are the key to getting women. But if that were true, we’d all be good looking instead of having ugly fathers. If you have some stories of guys who didn’t have the looks, the fame, or the money and did amazing with women, let me hear your stories.