Today my buddy JT Tran, better known as the famous Asian Playboy , gives an overview of dealing with the challenges that he and his students face that include issues that affect many of us. JT has been massively successful in changing his life and the lives of many men who have sought out his expert training.
Hey Cliff, Many of my students feel that they are at a disadvantage due to the stereotypes and typical issues that Asian men face for example, being short, being unattractive, being ESL (English Second Language), or just being an ‘Average Joe.’
These same insecurities and self-limiting beliefs cross ethnic barriers, and I myself faced these thoughts at some point in time which has inspired me to change and help others to do the same.
One thing I always say is that although I will never be tall, dark, and handsome, I can settle for short, stunning, and smooth.
Upgrading both your passive value as well as your inner game is always a great way to not only stand out in the crowd but also to exude confidence and come across as interesting, and fun to be around. Since I have so many students who barely speak English, teaching them verbal game or worse, routines, would be a recipe for disaster.
So instead, I offer the same advice that I offered a young and upcoming Asian Instructor of another PUA company when I was asked…
For the Asian Male: “You Go Big. Or You Go Home.”
There’s little point, when you’re a little guy like me, to hide in the shadows or be a wallflower. Or if you have an accent, or have a hard time speaking English, there’s no time to try to be subtle or you might just trip over your tongue.
Direct game, more kino and dominance are going to be a lot easier for a short, Asian guy as I can come in completely under the radar and completely unsuspecting. I can get away with a lot more sexuality and physical escalation because I am a smaller guy.
Everyone knows what it looks like to see that person in the room that effortlessly moves around from one group to another and seems to really have the natural talent and charisma to work the room. There are tools and information available that those ‘naturals’ are using that can be easily taught.
By understanding body language and the way you come across to people around you, you can make small tweaks that will attract more people to want to be around you, regardless of any other hurdles that you may be facing.
Just watch my new infield PUA video with my instructor Andrew Foraday in “BLOOP!”
He gets away with so much stuff with 3 white girls in the streets of Hollywood that a normal, taller, bigger guy could never get away with.
So use your (lack of) height, your (lack of) looks, and your (lack of) muscles to your advantage.
And remember, what Asian Playboy says, “There are no obstacles, only opportunities. After all, if I can do it, YOU can do it.”
Hope that helps.
Clifford: If there’s one underlying theme that runs through much of this advice on having success with women, it’s that you need to live in your own reality and not allow your perceived weaknesses or flaws to interfere with your having a mindset that just bypasses any problems. You don’t have any problems, you just are this fun person living in the moment. If you can put all your issues aside and just be the same way you are with your close friends and family, that’s the answer.
Of course, easier said than done for many.