It’s been really great re-connecting with a number of the old friends I’ve met through the community, many of whom are now kind of celebrities with huge followings and widely sought out for their insights and advice about dating and relationships.
Here’s a response from my buddy Will H about what he does when dealing with students who want to learn to be better with women. Will spoke at the Cliff’s List Convention and has been a contributor to this newsletter for many years.
“I used to believe years ago that my expressions, gestures, mannerisms, breathing even the tension in my muscles was pretty much due to or in congruence with the way I felt. But thru my own experiences and those of my students, I realized that just the opposite was true. I realized
that any person’s feelings man or woman directly resulted from his or her behavior.
One of the main things that we emphasize and stress when we coach one of our students is having fun. If nothing else happens we have a blast. My good friend David D and I used to sit in clubs and comment on how miserable most of the guys looked. They actually looked like they clocked in to a job and couldn’t wait for their shift to be over. Then they would talk about what a hard day they had at the club. Lol
We have been mentoring a select few students in learning how to have fun and one of the most key elements is hanging around positive healthy motivated people.
At these Seminars we first teach everybody how to feel bad. I mean really bad. We show them how to take on the matching behavior. We show them how to feel like crap. I mean depressed, frustrated, weak and helpless. In order to feel like crap, you need the corresponding posture and behavior. You need to speak slowly in a low toned voice, have slumped shoulders, definitely have to hang your head, look down and breathe shallow like you might stop breathing. Then we have you hold this posture for a while and amazingly people started thinking about all kind of bad things.
They thought of bad things that happened in the past, right then and there and future calamities. They were starting to feel miserable. Psychologically speaking their feelings of depression and frustration as well as helplessness increased.
We show you how to feel bad so we can show you how to feel good and have fun.
Your life’s goal should be to feel good.
There was a study at Irvine University in California. They did the following research with depressed people. The patients were told to sit upright, breathe deeply and forcefully, relax their body and lift their heads and eyes while they focused on an object slightly higher. They furthermore had to put a broad smile on their face.
They concluded that none of the patients could feel depressed after twenty minutes in that posture. Nobody could feel depressed about a situation that had seemed so bad, if they kept an upright posture, continued to smile and breathe forcefully.
This study further showed us that we are not tired, frustrated, and depressed because we feel bad, but that we feel bad because we ask for it with our physical behavior. This is why we always stress having fun no matter what you do but especially when it comes to dating.
All you have to do is ask and we’ll give you an exercise that will help you feel energetic almost immediately as we delve deeper into having fun.”
I also heard from the Ross Jeffries, the father of the seduction community. Ross has been a controversial figure over the years, but if you really know him he’s also one of the smartest guys involved in this material.
Ross : “With regard to Brad P and his “advice” he said;
“I break the cycle by having the student take on dominant characteristics one by one, even if it feels uncomfortable.
-fashion – redo it to look more dominant
-body language – change it to be more dominant
-words – tell the student exactly what to say to be more dominant
Now, where is it written in stone that being more “dominant” is what a guy needs? Maybe the guy is quite dominant (again, another ill-defined term, so ill-defined as to be useless as part of an intelligent discussion) but he needs to be more playful and fun. Or a better listener. Or more self-revealing.
It’s this kind of one-dimensional nonsense that leads guys astray.
And when you know how to skillfully suggest change, it becomes the student’s own idea to the point where “comfort zones” don’t need to be pushed through nearly so much.”
Agree or disagree? Let me know your thoughts and reactions because it’s only through exploring these issues in depth that you will take away real value and get some insight that will be really helpful to you.