Dates are lame. I hate dates. Do kids these days still do the whole ‘dating’ thing?!

Let’s be honest here… Dates are awkward, they’re usually pretty boring, you never quite know who pays for what and you usually end up going home… alone.

I remember in the old days, a date was such a big deal for me. I would wake up the day of, excited and eager, I would bail on friends or refuse other plans. I kept that time slot clear. I would shower and get dressed, and just sit there waiting… For an hour or two until she actually showed up. What changed for me was when I had a date with a girl I really liked. We were supposed to spend an entire day together and I had the most romantic things planned. I got a call early in the morning saying she has to work on things and will keep me posted as to what time she is free. She said lunchtime should be good. I called at lunch time and no answer. At 2pm I got a call saying she’s so sorry bla bla bla, let’s meet for 5 pm. 5pm came, I got a text saying 6pm is better. 6pm came along and I got a call saying it’s not working for a meeting for 6 since she has other plans at 9. I was devastated.

Here are my basic rules of dating.

Number 1: Do not date

Number 2: Refer to rule 1

What I do instead is go on adventures

Those, my friend, are a hell of a lot of fun.

Adventures are perfect because they are no-pressure, fun times that allows me to bring her personality out of her and see if she fits into my life. Re-read that last sentence. I am screening her to see how well she fits into my life. And this isn’t artificial screening like some kind of qualification phase or whatever. I genuinely want to see who she is and if she is worthy of being around me.

Adventures are simple too; decide what you want to do, and then invite her along. This one time, I hadn’t been go-karting in a really long time, so I invited a girl to come with me. After that, I had friends call and tell me they’re downtown and to come have drinks. We drove downtown and she got to meet some of my awesome friends. After that, I decided I wanted to smoke shisha but in a relaxing environment – so we went back to my bedroom and light up my shisha. There, she did the girliest thing ever and opened up the cam on my laptop and started taking dorky pics with me in different frames and filters. Those pics started off dorky and eventually ended up in kisses. Soon the computer was off and you can guess where this ended. Another time, I really wanted to try this new tea house near my place. A girl I met a few days ago was texting me and I just interrupted her and told her to get her ass over and lets check it out. Another time, I wanted a relaxing evening so I picked up a girl and we went to do groceries, back to my place, we cooked together then fooled around on the counter.

Do you understand where this is going? Live an interesting life. I did not give you tactics here. Don’t start using the “Shisha and laptop camera date routine”. Instead, live an exciting and interesting life and invite her to become a part of it.

Everyone has the right to invite, everyone has the right to refuse.


Patrick Ananda
Patrick Ananda

Patrick is a scoundrel, rogue, vagabond and founder of the Centered Man Project. He teaches men how to overcome their social anxiety and fear of rejection, by unleashing their unshakable self-confidence.

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