How to help yourself with self help … the right way. Etienne Charland: Self-development is a huge business. Let’s talk about why it doesn’t bring satisfying results for most people.Here are the mistakes almost everybody makes and how to avoid them.Many people want to change their results in life. They are willing to change their words and actions, but they don’t really want to change as a person.

Single guys look for tricks and techniques to attract women. Two things happen. They end up being something they are not, and they end up attracting the wrong type of women.

Women look for ways to feel better in their skins. They wear prettier clothes, go through plastic surgeries, and improve their communication skills. They end up having an edgy character and losing their carefreeness, spontaneity and authentic femininity.

People want to solve their financial situations, yet they remain stuck in the same frustrating life patterns.

Recently, a new wave of self-development appeared: the law of attraction, visualizations, energy healing and meditation. Men visualize the perfect lifestyle they want to live with women. Women use meditation and healing to feel better in their skins and to overcome their limiting beliefs.

They often end up living in their own bubble of wishful thinking. They’re still broke and single, but at least they feel better about it and they’re working on it.

On one side you have people who want to change their words and actions without changing within. On the other side you have people who change within but who don’t bridge the gap between emotions, actions and results. There are concrete actions to take and real-life social dynamics to deal with.

Then there is the middle path almost nobody sees.

You transform within, with all the various healing, meditation and visualization tools. You change specific aspects within yourself in a focused way to achieve an objective. If you want to better express yourself, you don’t need to work on your knee. Work on healing the specific tension in your throat, work on your sense of unworthiness and work on your fears of people’s opinions.

Affirmations and binaural meditation audios will not solve these fears. Breathing, meditation and general energy healing is very unlikely to solve these specific fears. It’s like trying to shoot a mosquito with a shotgun. You need to be focused and specific in what you work on within yourself. This requires a proper understanding of how your emotional and energetic systems work. Until you do this, all the self-development work you do will bring very limited results.

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Cliff's List

Cliff’s List is a place for men to become more successful. Where you can connect with other men in your community, around the world. Get advice from the world’s experts on seduction, dating and relationships.

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