Women can’t resist a guy in a feathered boa.
If this field report doesn’t blow your mind, I will somehow give you a full refund of your time.
I was out with a couple friends. At first I felt really awkward. I tried to loosen up by dancing, but it wasn’t really working. For awhile I just danced my usual hip hop moves, but it just felt reserved and mechanical.
At some point I guess I just calmed down, accepted my environment, and let loose with expressions of raw, unfiltered high energy. Not only did I feel so much better, I could see women around me being more responsive. For example, one really hot girl would smile and copy my moves every time she made eye contact with me. Cool sauce.
Now, where the night had its turning point was when I found a feather boa on the ground. I swear on my uncle’s cousin’s dog’s grave that the feather boa is my new religion. In the name of the father, the son, and the holy boa … amen.
With this feathery phallic symbol around my neck, women started grabbing my boa, whereupon I would throw it around their necks and reel them in. The feathery snake assists the mighty male organ snake, I suppose.
Shortly after we bounced, since the place truly was a sausage fest, and we had just found a nuclear weapon of mass seduction.
Now here is where my night evolved into cookie dough meets egg nogg awesomeness. I mean serious whipped cream slathered on chocolate cake with caramel oozing off the top unbelievable mind blowing vocabulary shattering yes (try to make sense of that).
This somewhat trashy Mediterranean girl stops me in my tracks and asks if she can take my boa. I tell her she can borrow it (after all, I’m not giving up the holy grail that easily), and the she starts hugging me rather sensually. Then she notices my zipper’s undone, grabs my crotch, laughs at how soft I am, does it again. Before I showed up she seemed to be with a guy, so my mind was pretty much blown out of an inverted toilet bowl at this point. Still, I tried to roll with it a bit. I re-positioned myself with my back to the wall and asked her to do a runway walk for me, to which she complied with great enthusiasm. I kept making eye contact with one of my friends because I didn’t know what to make of the situation.
Eventually he comes over and saves my non-believing hiney. In his own words:
“So I go up to her and him, physically push them together while saying, ‘Hey you know what? You guys make a really great couple !’ She replies, ‘Oh yeah, really ?!’ I reply ‘Oh ! You know what a great couple like you guys should do ? You should kiss !’ She tongues him down and ravages him orally.”
Thanks bro, that’s what winging’s all about ! If I ever see you in a situation where a girl’s swarming you and you’re clueless about it, I’ll be sure to return the favor.
So … a hot stranger just made out with me for passing by a club entrance with a boa around my neck?
Holy shit on a gooey cracker.
The make out was really nasty though. She was so aggressive with her tongue that I could barely maneuver, and it felt just weird and dirty.
This turn of events was such an unprecedented shock that I ejected for various reasons, basically all of which have to do with shock and lack of belief in myself.
1) I thought she was with a guy. Later my friend said that the guy was afraid of me because of my size. Honestly, once the girl started interacting with me, I didn’t even notice or care about him, nor was I the least bit intimidated by him when I left. I AMOGed without realizing it !
2) This shit was too good to be true. My mind couldn’t process it. All this hard work, all this commitment to PUA, and I could get a freebie just for passing a drunk girl while wearing a boa ? It felt like cheating, and that I still had to earn the results by doing things I read about (ridiculous obviously). Either that, or again I just couldn’t get myself to believe a woman could be attracted to me like that. In RSD they talk about how we tend to reinforce our current realities, even if they are bad realities. I was still viewing myself as this guy who was frustrated with his lack of success with women, even when I just had received a double big mac of evidence to the contrary. I actually find it quite fascinating how the mind can filter out overwhelming evidence like this just to support your current mindset about the world. Anyway, enough with this mental masturbation.
3) I wasn’t that attracted. I didn’t instantly get hard when she grabbed my crotch, and the makeout felt nasty. I still enjoyed getting physical with her, but that was the extent of it.
In retrospect, it feels like I’m making a huge deal out of just physically attracting a drunk girl, but this is new territory for me.
So after I ejected like a dufus (I could’ve easily brought her home for my first lay ever), me and my buddy tried going to another venue, but they claimed to be full. Same story for yet another venue, and I was not digging the sausage hate. We finally managed to get into a place because of the boas (+1 for my new religion).
By now it was already like 2:30, which was unfortunate because I was on top of the world at this point. I seriously walked into the club with a smile on my face like a child who has experienced chocolate for the first time (man I really love my food metaphors). I walked around with both hands in the air like I had just won the Superbowl, and danced my ass off.
Now let me try and explain what it feels like to be in state.
Imagine being able to yell “It’s all about the fruit juice !” into a crowd and absolutely not care about how people react.
Imagine singing “We Are the Champions” followed by “I’m a Little Teapot” just for the hell of it.
Imagine just being so excited about life that you start jumping up and down, screaming, laughing, freaking strangers out, and feeding off your own energy the whole time.
Imagine feeling completely at ease, like the world’s your playground.
The best way I can really describe it is having the positive emotions from feeling wasted while being completely sober. Your mental prisons just melt away, and it is the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. This is only the second time I’ve ever felt this way, the first time was when me and some wings opened around 15 sets at a local university, which was an enormous feat for us at the time.
Actually, I was so high on happiness that it was dangerous for me to drive, as crazy as that sounds. I was honking rhythms of a song, yelling at people out of my window, almost hyperventilating in excitement, and driving pretty erratically. After I dropped off my friend, I started acting even more insane. At one point I was on the highway and I just switched lanes back and forth for about 5 minutes, played with my blinkers, accelerated and braked repeatedly. A few times I really had to calm myself down, convinced that I would get a ticket if I kept this up.
So for all those RSD followers, state is real, and it is incredible. I can’t wait for March break, as that V card is getting mercilessly destroyed.
Whooo (I’m sweating just writing this).