I got many great reactions on last week’s piece from the upcoming book, ‘The Way of a Seducer’. Thank you for that!

I suspected the piece would resonate with this newsletter crowd, since the ‘The Way of a Seducer’ is a code of honor in the land of women, a code for Amorati and men who aspire to become one of the Amorati. Men like YOU.

Here is another short, but important piece. It starts off rather philosophically, but in the end it’s very applicable. Let me know what you think.

on advice

Never give a man your unsolicited opinion or advice about matters of love and seduction.

By giving another man your unsought opinion or advice, you bring shame to him. When you give him your opinion or advice unasked, you are taking his pride. You are flaunting your knowledge, skills,… at the expense of the listener. You are emasculating him, rather than inspiring and empowering him. How can one expect to make a man a better seducer by bringing shame to him?

To give advice on matters of love and seduction, you must come from a place of empathy and care. You must also judge whether that man is of the disposition to receive it or not. You must be explicitly asked, or close enough to him that you know that he needs to hear your opinion or advice, and that he trusts your intention and your word.

When you are not explicitly asked for your opinion or advice, a good way to make sure it is sought after, is to first pause and ascertain whether that man is of the disposition to receive it, then ask him: “Do you want my opinion?” or “Are you asking me to give you advice?”

~ Hans Comyn
Ars Amorata

Hans Comyn
Hans Comyn

Hans is the head of the Amorati network and leads the Ars Amorata programs. He joined forces with Zan Perrion in 2008. Before that time, Hans Comyn taught philosophy at several Universities and worked five years with French sociologist Bruno Latour on how to reassemble the social, bring people together and make things public.

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